For a good while I was living 100% comfortably as a gay trans guy. I was sexually assaulted back in November and only got out of that relationship a few months ago, and I had repressed all of the feelings I had about all of that until recently and I've been a mess since. Every somewhat romantic relationship I've had with a guy, he was abusive. And I've never had a non-romantic relationship with men work out fantastically either. I feel unsafe around men. I don't like being alone with them at all. It's worse with cis men, if it's a trans guy I sort of know I'm okay being around him, but it's still not a sense of security. I know this is something I have to work on, and I'm seeing a therapist about it. However, it just feels so weird. I always ID'd as a guy. I'm only attracted to men. How can I feel so unsafe around them and have a general dislike for men when I am a man? Am I maybe not a man? Could I be nonbinary instead? Or is this just something temporary? I feel so so gross when I think about being a man. I feel like an abuser myself, almost.