I'm not completely alone as I live with my family, but I have no friends to hang out with or to talk to. the thing that is preventing me from looking for people is because I left islam and obviously I can't tell anyone because I'm not allowed so I have to keep that to myself too. the problem now is I'm starting to get a bit paranoid about what if everyone knows why I left the religion (i don't practice prayers, don't celebrate religious days...etc) I'm so desperate for friends but at the same time I'm hopeless because I know how it will end, I tried it before and in my country it's the social norm to be muslim and do what they do. I started again as a freshman on college but I just don't fit in, I'm already thinking about dropping again because having no friends and going everyday to college makes me feel pathetic and worthless, I feel like I should rather stay home and find online jobs until I leave the country, but I don't know maybe I'm just paranoid because I have social anxiety too. if you're a muslim or having had a religious background, please share your experience, would love to learn from you!!