I can't hold on any longer

We're here for you, and we won't leave. We're always here if you need to talk please remember that.

 

Maybe your mother will change, but you can't stay in the situation you're in waiting for a change that might not happen. Your first priority needs to be yourself and your safety, and while you're under that roof, you're not safe.

And EC will always be here for you. (*hug*)

 

Going off what Maddy said, we're not going to leave you either, ever. Some members may leave for unknown reasons, but EC as a whole will always ALWAYS be here for you. I plan to remain on this site for as long as I can in my life as long as it means I can try to help people and give the support they need.

 

You can't wait, end of story. You need to leave.
And thirding Maddy and Revan, we'll be here for you. Promise.

 

I'm not going to try and persuade you to leave. That is your choice and yours alone to make, since you have already talked to your Grandmother about it i suppose you have already had a back-up plan thought up. I believe you are a very intelligent girl and would surely know the right thing to do when it's too much to bear.

However, i have serious issues with your statement "im hoping that my loving mom would come back" I have fears that what's keeping you there is something similar to battered wife syndrome. If that is the case, then you must AT ALL COST find help- a therapist that always cancels your appointment will not help. If he does not treat you as a priority, especially with your past history, then he's not a good therapist. Change to another one if possible.

Finally, please please please never believe you are alone. Humans are social creatures, loneliness or even percieved loneliness would surely kills us. Just remember that aside from your girlfriend you still have US. the entire EC stands beside you on this. The world may be a cruel place, you may feel like giving up, but it's people that shows good and persevere through all that which makes this world all the more beautiful. I'm sure you are one of them. Don't make this world a bleaker place by leaving us.

Also, although i may not be of much help you can message me if you want to talk.

 

*winks*

 

RemyLeBeau,

I think everyone else has already said it all, but it sounds like your mother and step-father are very abusive towards you.

When I was 16, my mother emotionally abused me, and had a tendency to bring different guys through the house. I remember her going off at me because I'd eaten a box of Kraft Dinner after school, and threatening to throw me out over it - and I was told I was unloveable, useless, worthless and stupid, and a lot of other things.

I, like you, didn't want to leave. I didn't want to think that I had given up on my mother, or that I would never have that mother-daughter bond that's supposed to be so good. I was also scared of what would happen once I was on my own.

What I didn't realize, until after we had a bad fight one night that ended in my leaving, was that I would not be on my own just because I was not under the roof of my parents anymore.

When she threw me out that night, I was scared. I felt like I had nowhere to go, but I gathered as much of my stuff as I could and I walked to my ex-boyfriend/best friend's house. He opened the door and I couldn't even speak, all I could do was cry because it hurt so bad emotionally.

but I got through it. I was offered a place to stay. People gave me clothing, fed me, the woman I stayed with even took in my cat.

And a few days later, when I went (with a few friends) back to collect the rest of my stuff from my mother's house, she begged me to come back. She missed me, she was sorry, could we try to work it out - but I was already doing so much better, a few days out of that house and I already knew I could be happy if I didn't go back there. So I said no, I didn't want to live there anymore.

My refusal to return actually ended up strengthening our relationship, because my mother realized I wouldn't put up with being abused. And even when I visit now, I still have to maintain my boundaries and I work hard to do it.

I'm telling you this because I know what it's like to live in an abusive home and to feel not ready to leave. It feels like giving up, it means admitting that what is going on isn't acceptable, and it's terrifying. I would never have found the courage to leave if I hadn't been pushed.

But, it is worth it to leave. YOU are worth it. Yes, it will hurt, it will likely be terrifying, and you may find yourself wanting to cry a lot for a while afterward. But you are not completely alone, you have everyone here at EC, and I hope you have your grandmother's shoulder to cry on. It at least sounds like you have her home to stay in.

You can get through this. You deserve to live in a house where you feel safe. Where the other people living with you are people you can rely on for support when you need it - people you know would never hurt you willingly, not even in a moment of drunkenness or anger. YOU are worthy of that kind of home life, the kind where you come home to feel safe and loved.

Where you are right now is not giving you that.

I'm not trying to push you to leave, just to give you a different perspective. One that says you're strong enough to leave if you need to, you'll get through it if you do leave, and you are worth whatever it takes to be happy.