Hi, For a long time Ive felt more like a man rather than a woman (birth gender) and recently I’ve figured out that I do identify as a male. My problem is I don’t know if I’m gender fluid or transgender. I hate the idea of being a woman most of the time but I grew up as a woman in a conservative family so I don’t know if that’s playing on my mindset or not. Once I can figure out who I am I feel my anxiety will stop. I don’t really know what I’m asking here, but I dont have anyone to talk to who personally understands what I’m going through so I thought to come here and maybe hear some thoughts. Thanks!
Wolfie23.....Hello and a great big LGBTQ+ welcome to Empty Closets! There is a sub-forum here on EC that is titled “Gender Identity and Expression”. If you post there I think you'll find people who will understand how you feel and will be able to offer support and understanding! We are so glad that you have found us here on Empty Closets! .....David
Hi and welcome! I was born female and at 38 I came out as bi and also recognised I had a gender issue that I couldn’t figure out. Over the years I’ve felt FTM then back to gender fluid then back to FTM then bi-gender etc etc etc. I’ve always wondered the same, in that because I’ve lived as female for so many years and been in that role, that it has conditioned me into not wanting to let go of that female side. I get dysphoric but I don’t want to lose my female place in my family. Yet inside I feel male. I used to get very stressed about it all. But now, at age 51 I am happy identifying as non binary. You’re not alone. You’ll find there are others in this forum who are similar.
Welcome to EC, Wolfie. Anxiety is quite common in the questioning stage, and it may take some time (months, years) to really understand who you are. I first had thoughts of wanting to be a boy when I was 7 years old, though repressed it until I was 19. Like you, I began identifying as gender fluid as sort of a stepping stone, then eventually became more comfortable with my life as a man. If you're questioning, and you're not already, try experimenting with a male name and pronouns and see how that feels, or try "passing" as male through expression (clothing or hairstyles).
