I am just so confused

It can be really hard to be sure, and it may take some time before you are. Here are some questions you can ask yourself that helped me:

Does people's use of she/her or other similar words (lady, girl, miss, ma'am, etc.) when talking to or about you feel wrong or uncomfortable?

Do you feel that your body is wrong for you, or do you want to change parts of your body to be more like a man's?

In the future, do you imagine yourself living life as a woman, a man, or a different gender?

The first and second questions would indicate social or body dysphoria, which most transgender people experience. The third question is just something that helped me figure it out. Hope this helps!

 

I was similar when I first started questioning. I wanted to know for sure, 100%. Thing is, I learned quickly to be 100% sure isn't likely. I am currently 95% sure, but probably never be that 100% until I have transition.

So the question is, how do we help you be more sure than you currently are?

The questions mentioned above are a good places to start, as is experimenting using male pronouns. Experimenting is important as it helps you learn what you do and do not like, and how certain things make you feel.

Don't worry about labels so much right now, just focus on what makes you feel like you. You like how that name makes you feel, or how those pronouns feel when applied to you, then use them. You like the feel of boxers over panties..wear the boxers.
Trying to find a label in the beginning doesn't actually always help. I went through a lot. Agender, bi-gender,non-binary, before simply settling on FtM to be the blanket term for how I feel.

Address these things:
Do you have dysphoria? It is alright if you have only chest dysphoria, not everyone has bottom dysphoria. And some people don't experience dysphoria at all.

What is it that made you start questioning?

How would you feel about being stuck in a female body the rest of your life? How would you feel about finding yourself in a male body?

I would also recommend googling FtM articles and stories to gain insight into other's journey and experiences. I can find some for you if you would like.
And while you can look on Tumblr I do believe most people on her would warn against it or take some things on there with a grain of salt.

I'll try to think of better advice. And I'm sure other on here will post with wonderful advice as well.

 

So I have to tell you that many transgender people have a time where they question the validity of being transgender.
Some questions to ask might be:

Do you know what caused you to start questioning your gender identity?

Do you experience dysphoria (chest, bottom, or otherwise)?

Do you experience dysphoria from being misgendered? Or do you like the pronouns of the opposite gender and why?

If you had to live your life as a man or woman for the rest of your life, which would you chose? Which do you see yourself as when you grow up?
Have you ever felt like the gender you were born? (not based on sterotypes)

It is really hard at first to be confident in your identity when questioning. First, give yourself the time and space to question your gender. Take your time to think and see how you feel. I became more sure of my identity when I questioned myself on what would make me happiest and how I saw myself. I am bigender so I fluctuate between female and male genders. So I asked myself some questions. Had I ever felt like my birth gender? If I was a woman for the rest of my life than would I be happy? If I was a man for the rest of my life would I be happy? etc. It wasn't about stereotypical roles, but how you feel you are inside. For me, I found that this was the best way to be sure because I felt happiest when I acknowledged that I wouldn't be happy in just my birth gender, just the opposite gender, etc. I was happiest identifying as bigender.


Also, WELCOME! And do explore because there is a lot of good posts and information on here that should be able to help you. Like what someone said previously, I would avoid Tumblr for this. However, I would look up Trans* Youtubers and listen to their stories to see if you relate.

 

Hi there IDK. I really want to help, but being a new member, I want to stick carefully to what I feel I know.

At your age, you are asking these questions quite early. That comes with its pluses and minuses. On the plus side, if your family allows you to do so, catching a transgender identity before puberty finishes may give you the option of getting on hormones early (IF that's the course you choose to take — many TG folks choose to decline hormones and surgery).

On the minus side, the younger you are, the harder it is to know for certain. It sounds like you're experiencing that challenge first-hand right now. :/

Being as I'm not fully TG and I'm certainly not FTM, I want to limit the amount of advice I give. However, my wife has struggled with the feeling that she might be TG, and there's one particular warning I gave her that I'd like to share:

Make sure you ask yourself whether you truly feel that you are male inside, as opposed to wanting to do things that society unfairly limits to males.

There a plenty of things our society unfairly labels as “masculine” that aren't really so. It's not just rough sports and fighting with other dudes and, I dunno, bronco-busting or whatever... It's also the simple act of dating girls, for instance.

I admit that I have some personal opinion invested in this, so it's okay if you take it with a grain of salt. Still, I think it's important to separate what you want want to be from what you want to do.