Hello I am back once again to rant. So to put it shortly I liked this post on Facebook which had a queer connotation. I don’t use Facebook much and wasn’t sure how often these things would be shown to other people. fast forward a few hours, I get a message from a girl in this dance group I’m in with a screenshot of me liking the post. Basically I think she is gay too, potentially and we were kinda joking a bit and like I was okay denying it. Like ahaha no I’m just an ally and she’s like okaayy yeah sure me too kinda thing. so it technically didn’t go bad but I’m still anxious as all hell. This dance group is my first big group of “friends” in a new city where no one knows who I am. For personal reasons I decided to not disclose my identity (I’m bi) to anyone here. And honestly it hasn’t been brought up so I haven’t needed to. but I know this girl, she is going to spread it around the group like wildfire and she even has the screenshot to prove it. Everyone is gonna know about it and pretend like they don’t when they are around me. It’s gonna tear at me like crazy just being in proximity to any of them any more. I can’t even imagine looking at her in the face anymore. I don’t even know what will happen if someone brings it up in person. basically, even though I have basically already confirmed it to her, is there anyway I can take it back? I know I’m being delusional here and scraping out of the bottom of the barrel but I really didn’t want this to happen. if it was on my own terms, fine. But it wasn’t, even though it was technically my stupid fault for liking that post. I’m just too uncomfortable to exist at the moment. I just want to leave the group and delete them off social media. but in doing so people will ask why I left and they would have to tell them… I mean they all know anyway ughhhh. idk what to do I just have kinda a bad thing about being outed because of things that have happened in my past. I won’t call it trauma because I don’t want to invalidate anyone else but basically I just wanted things to happen on my own accord in this new city by myself, but I got to careless and now I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if this is okay for me to say so trigger warning for the rest here but I tend to relapse when I get oute
You're sort of taking the opposite path or approach than most people here who are always asking for advice on how to come out, not how to get back in the closet, lol. I do find it very curious that this friend screenshotted your like as if to use it against you or for leverage, she could easily have simply asked you, but maybe I'm reading to much into that. I was going to say, about halfway through reading our message, that she might be able to be an ally for you, for support, especially if she seems supportive, which she already admitted she is supportive of LGBTQ+, if not possibly Bi or Gay herself. I'm not sure why you, or anyone would want to run from that sort of support in your life. But that's not what you are asking, so on that front. I think you should just be matter of fact, stick to your story that you told her, and if she spreads it just deny, deny, deny. "I'm a supporter of LGBTQ+ rights, I liked a post I saw, and that' the end of it people, nothing to see here, move along now." Then you can sit back and decide of your group of friends are assholes or not. My personal advice? lean into it. From what I understand about Australian culture, they are a pretty supportive and accepting society, is that not true in reality?
I guess I’m kind of confused. If you just liked a FB post what’s the big deal. Your friend can say anything that she wants but really has nothing to back it up. Also not sure what being bi will do to your social standing anyway in your city. What do you perceive as the concern? We can talk this through with more info.
Btw, I know tons of people that have posted positive Pride support on FB that aren’t gay, bi, etc. Just a like on a post doesn’t mean anything about outing someone.
Hey I’m really sorry you are feeling so bad about the situation. I think try and take a step back and a deep breath for a moment, it is going to be ok. I agree that you liking a post on Facebook, even if it was LGBT related isn’t proof that you are gay or bi or anything. I think what is setting your mind racing is your own internal paranoia. I understand that, when I first figured out I was gay, but before I was out to people, anytime there was any mention of anything LGBT or it was on the TV I felt like everyone around me could see into my mind, I felt so awkward and it probably made me physically blush. In reality nobody was any the wiser. I am in no way saying you should embrace the opportunity and come out but I am curious as to why you are so devastated that someone might know? Have you previously had a bad experience?
