How touchy/feely were you with friends while in the closet?

I think i see more people saying they were pretty touchy while in the closet but I wasn't that touchy not because I didn't want to out myself but because I didn't want to develop feelings for them because I knew they wouldn't like me like that and I still have this problem

 

I'm not usually one for physical touch. This goes for when I was in the closet and after I came out.

There are exceptions.

 

If I'd had friends I probably wouldn't have been very touchy feely with them.

 

I am a pretty touchy feely sort of person but I guess its pretty different for two guys anyway, as guys don't tend to be touchy feely anyway. And as a woman, if you touch a guy its usually pretty clear if you're being platonic or sexual. Two women - there's a whole load of grey area. You wouldn't see two guys stood together at a busy bar with their arms around each others waists, but I've done that with straight girlfriends and nobody has ever said a word about it.

 

Not particularly, then or now. I'll offer hugs on birthdays or during times of emotional distress, and I hug my mother and niece, but that's about the extent of it.

 

Not very. Only a couple of trusted individuals know I'm gay so I don't want to arouse any suspicion until I'm ready to fully come out and even then, I probably won't change much.

 

i am touchy touchy and guys don't mind it and/or they expect it when they see me.

I like to touch guys hair and arms and its been a running joke with my friends and acquaintances for years.

 

Yup - same.

 

I wasn't touchy-feely at all when I was in the closet and I'm still very careful. There are appropriate boundaries in all human relationships and the "me too" issues should have taught us something about being respectful of boundaries. Far too many people who have crossed appropriate boundaries justify their behaviour on the basis of being a touchy-feely friendly kind of person. That's really not a defence at all and we need to understand that very clearly.

I'm not saying any of this to be critical, but to inject a note of caution into the conversation. Touchy-feely can get you into serious trouble. You need to be sure that the other person will not be creeped out by this sort of thing.

 

With male friends, never - nothing more than a handshake, with just one exception, when I hugged a close friend.

With female friends - plenty of hugging and light touches, but nothing inappropriate or anything that would go beyond what was considered normal friendly behaviour.

 

I was very touchy feely with a good friend while I was closeted as a teen.