All along I thought I was gay, but recently I have come to realise that may not entirely be the case. I am sexually attracted to men, but find it hard falling in love with them. It is easier for me to fall in love with women. In fact, I have always had crushes on females since the earliest I can remember. I can imagine sex with a woman only if I am romantically attracted to her. So what does that make me? Lesbian? Bisexual? There is a conflict within me between sexual attraction to men and emotional connection (romantic attraction) to women. How do I reconcile this? Can I find sexual satisfaction with a woman if I am with one?
Based on your post, I'm assuming that you've never acted on your attraction to women. If so, it's typical for somebody who is accepting their sexuality to be a little unsure of their gay side. A lot of this has to do with overcoming lessons that we learned growing up that being attracted to the opposite sex is "normal" and that being LGBT is bad or evil. So I suspect the primary barrier is the shame and internalized homophobia of being a lesbian. As for determining if you are lesbian or bisexual, you'll need to figure that out yourself once you have experience with both genders.
Have u looked under the covers, so to speak, of your family of origin, growing up stuff … to help resolve the conflict? What about your mother & father? What was your relationship like w each of them? I ask because our relationship drives can be affected by our earliest parental relationships.
