I was unsure where to put this post so sorry guys. But when someone says "I accept you for who you are but i don't agree with you" still someone who loves you for you? I never understood this. And what about people who ask questions like So are you straight? So do you know __ or do you like this. Just random thing's that seem rude at the time. I got asked some of they's questions when i was younger by people and wans't sure how to take it so i kinda stayed silent and tried to respond but without anger.
Hi RoyalRed, If I haven't said so already, welcome to the board! I think you handled this person's rudeness very well! And yes, I do feel that that was rude of them. Unless you'd specifically asked them how they felt about your orientation, I don't think that responding "I don't agree with you" is appropriate. They could have just politely stayed quiet. Remember, "if you don't have anything nice to say..." On the other hand, you certainly showed them that you were the "bigger person." You left them to their views and showed them that their opinion doesn't have any power over you! If they are any kind of friend, they will eventually see that you are just like anyone else, and will begin to embrace your individuality. Being teenagers, they will probably have a change of heart in a few years anyway, and will be embarrassed at their earlier closed-mindedness. The new generation seems to be much more accepting over all. Peer pressure will get to them, if their own logic doesn't do it first. During college, I was asked in an accusatory tone whether or not I was "straight." At the time, I responded "Yes" out of fear. But looking back, I wish I'd said something like "Does it matter?" Bottom line, don't let anyone intimidate you into giving the "safe" answer. Keep us updated on how things go in the future. And again, welcome!
That's someone who is tolerant, but not completely accepting. However, if your relationship with this person doesn't change (as it probably won't as a result of this), what does it really matter? They still love you for who you are, but they are having (perhaps temporary) difficulty accepting one part of that. On the realm of people that are not completely accepting, this is where you want people to be, as opposed to someone who might be openly homophobic for example. Without more context, it's really difficult to tell. People don't just come up to you on the street and ask if you're straight - they have to have some reason to ask, and it's really depending on that reason whether it upsets me personally, and how I'd respond.
The whole "I don't agree with you" thing has always puzzled me. I am a person, not a position. I am bisexual. You *disagree*? Where's your evidence? I don't think you really mean you disagree that I'm not bisexual. I think what you (this hypothetical person talking to me) *really* mean is that you are hateful toward people of alternate sexualities and are trying to cover that fact with inarticulate language.
Keep in mind the person asking questions usually has little or no real experience being around someone who is bi/gay. I came out to some friends of mine earlier this year and almost all of them had questions (lost job and had to move and I have lost cotact with most all of them). The questions that often came up that I hated and my general reply 1) Who's the man in the relationship? I'm gay so we both are. 2) I mean do you top/bottom? I don't talk about my sex life like that it's like if I asked you which sex positions you like. 3) How long have you been gay (most knew my ex-gf). I've always been gay but I assume you mean when did I realise it? (followed by story of when and how gay guy had gf) These are questions everyone seems to ask. If someone asks me questions I'll answer almost all of them except questions about 'who I've been with', 'how many people I've been with', or 'what I've done in the bedroom'. If they are asking questions to gain understanding I believe you should try to answer them ---------- Post added 7th Sep 2013 at 04:29 AM ---------- but I also believe that if a question makes you uncomfortable that you have a right to say so and refuse to answer. ---------- Post added 7th Sep 2013 at 04:29 AM ---------- Keep in mind the person asking questions usually has little or no real experience being around someone who is bi/gay. I came out to some friends of mine earlier this year and almost all of them had questions (lost job and had to move and I have lost cotact with most all of them). The questions that often came up that I hated and my general reply 1) Who's the man in the relationship? I'm gay so we both are. 2) I mean do you top/bottom? I don't talk about my sex life like that it's like if I asked you which sex positions you like. 3) How long have you been gay (most knew my ex-gf). I've always been gay but I assume you mean when did I realise it? (followed by story of when and how gay guy had gf) These are questions everyone seems to ask. If someone asks me questions I'll answer almost all of them except questions about 'who I've been with', 'how many people I've been with', or 'what I've done in the bedroom'. If they are asking questions to gain understanding I believe you should try to answer them
