I’m gay and I find it so difficult to come to the relazation that there are so many guys out there tht only like girls and obviously it’s nothing anybody can control but it upsets me that I don’t even have a chance with them just because of my gender.. I can’t be the only gay person that’s “type” is a “straight acting” person. It just sucks and makes things 10x times harder. Even seeing straight couples just upsets me it’s not like man wish I could have that..
It happens to all of us, feeling attracted to a straight person. Just make sure you give yourself certain emotional boundaries. Don't obsess over the person. Try not to fantasize. Try to turn your attention towards other gay guys. Join an LGBTQ group or try online dating. Turn your attention towards the guys that could be attracted to you. Don't wish for the impossible, you'll only cause yourself disappointment. By the way, don't get too hung up on a certain "type." The reason I say that is that life can be surprising with regards to whom you may be attracted to. I met a guy this winter who was not at all my usual type, but we talked, we spent a little time together, and I was actually very attracted to him.
Anyways, @sontfles Try to b open minded. A lot of people in more accepting areas are much more willing to abandon their idea of straightness now. And more and more people will cease to be closeted every year. Also, straight acting is literally bullshit. the ratio of gay guys that act like that is basically the same as straight guys it is just your availability heuristic (instances of what can be recalled from memory is how your brain approximates the likely-hood of an event).
My way of coping is to be open and upfront about my sexuality in front of straight men. I talk quite candidly about my dating and sexual experiences with them. I think part of the reason I got so hung up on some straight men who I had a crush on is because I kept quiet and secretive about my sexuality, and that kind of fed into the fantasy. My sex life was an "unspoken thing" with them, and I would go to bed at night and imagine getting intimate with them and confessing that I had strong desires for them. Now that I speak openly about my sexuality in front of straight guys, it kills the sense of mystery that leads to me having fantasies about them.
