How to let someone down nicely after a first date?

First, I think we all experience that. In part because we don't want to hurt someone or let them down, but also because we don't want to be seen as 'a bad person'.

I think the simplest thing is the truth, somethign like "Hey, I had a nice time at coffee, and I appreciate meeting you and learning about you. I didn't feel much chemistry, so I don't think it's a fit, but I wish you the best." You could add something about keeping her as a friend if you want, but I wouldn't suggest it unless you want to do it.

The truth is, there's no way that it doesn't sting a bit to hear that, no matter how you phrase it. But far worse is to not tell them, ghost them, or keep going on dates because you don't want to let them down. I've seen people do all three, and the "choose discomfort" plan is by far the best approach in my book.

 

I agree that honesty is best, and saying you didn't feel chemistry is safe language. Plus, you will gain experience for future dates to continue this honesty. I also agree about being cautious about friendship; many people can still harbor mixed feelings as a friend.