Hello all, So I have 5 little siblings (ages 14, 10, 8, 2, 1). When I come out as transgender a time may come when I need to explain what that means to them. Chances are, my parents won't allow me too for fear of "confusing" them, but I still want to be prepared. Then there's the other question of whether I tell my siblings regardless of what my parents want... However, this information isn't particularly relevant to the main question I wanted to ask you guys: How would you explain transgenderism to a child? Any all and input is appreciated. Thank you -Peter-
I would just say fairly plainly that I decided i'd rather be a guy than a girl and say why. I'd bet anything they would say cool and not think twice. Kids are pretty open minded. I've had kids talk to me and you just gotta take it in good humor it can be a little embarrassing but I don't think they see it that way at all.
I agree with jewell. When they're older they may ask questions and they'll be at an age where it's easier to answer them. Maybe the 14 year old will and they can know more, I think; kids are asking worse questions and finding things out at younger ages, so they'll probably find out anyway and it'll be better to hear it from you. But the others (10 and 8) will only need to be sat down and told that you're a boy and would like to be treated as such. Like, my younger siblings are 9 and 5 (and 2, but he's too young right now) and they see me dressing and acting like a boy. So I get called brother and sister, boy and girl. The 9 year old gets confused when people say I can only be a girl. I think they'd take it well if I sat them down and said I'm a boy, because kids do. Your youngest siblings are probably too young to really understand anything you say, but watching your other siblings and you will have them picking up on your gender identity. If they ask questions a little later, you can sit them down then. If your other siblings treat you as the boy you are, they might not (unless your parents do anything) and just know you as their brother. I hope any of this helps, Peter.
Well, I was actually asked whether I'm a boy or girl... I guess because I act like myself more when I'm around kids and because I can look kind of cute in my beany or just the right hairstyle ^_^ I just told them I have a boy body but I'm a girl in my head. And yeah, then we continued playing. They still used male pronouns though... and my birth name, of course, since they didn't know anything else. I think if I would desperately have wanted them to use female pronouns I would have said it in a jolly manner, like "you know, I'm not a "he", really, I'm a she!" "She?" "Yeah, she. Can you say that instead?" Kind of like that. When I came out to my sister, explaining quite openly about medical transitioning helped a lot for her mind to comprehend that I would be a girl. I explained to her (not in detail) about SRS, and then she had this thinking look on her face and raised two fingers as in a peace sign and said "then I'll have two older sisters!" "Yeah!" I said. That's my experience, hope it helps in some way! I have no experience on the pronoun part or anything. But they learn, the young'uns, they learn pretty fast. Actually, without me even asking to use female pronouns, my sis called me she and corrected my father without thinking about it once! So yeah. I think what you need to do is be prepared that it might take a little while for them to get used to the idea. But they'll come around.
yea the time i had a kid talk to me they came up and said are you a boy or a girl? i replied yes. then they said your a boy i can tell by your voice. i just smiled and said you got me, but it just seems so much funner to be a girl to me.
Kids don't have a lot of the 'rules' that we gain as adolescents and adults, so most kids probably won't even know that you "can't pick" your gender. Most likely just saying something simple like 'I'm a boy but my body thinks it's a girl!' will be more than enough for younger kids. Even if they ask questions, they probably won't really care about the answer. The older they get, they'll have more questions (and take the answers more seriously), but again, just answering honestly, and leaving lots of room for innocence (ignorance) will likely be more than enough to explain it to them.
For younger kids, I might say something as simple as, 'You know, I may look like a girl, but I'm actually a boy.' If it fit the circumstances, I could further explain that I'm cutting my hair / wearing boys' clothes / etc. because 'I want to look like who I really am.' And if our parents are unsupportive, I'd hope to acknowledge that non-confrontationally, if necessary: 'Mom & Dad think I'm a girl, because I look like one. That's okay - it's confusing! But I know who I am, because I'm me!' Most fourteen-year-olds nowadays, though, you could probably start with 'I'm trans' and just work with their questions from there. Best of luck!
