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How to come out to my dad

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Aaryanna, Jan 28, 2019.

  1. Aaryanna

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    my dad is really homophobic and I just came out as bisexual to my best friend (also bisexual) how should I come out to my extremely homophobic dad??
     
  2. HM03

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    Who else are you out to? Are you out to anybody in your family yet?

    I'm really glad I told my brother first - he really helped me with getting the courage to tell my dad.
     
  3. Mlpguy88

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    There are some things to consider here because I do not know how old you are. If you expect a bad reaction then do you still live at home? Are you financially supported by your dad? Is there someone you can stay with is you need to leave the home for a while? I tend to think of the worst case scenario but it will be better if you have your ducks in a row in case things go poorly.

    And on thew flip side, he may be completely ok with it. Parents can react differently if it is their own kid. It's just things to consider.
     
  4. smurf

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    Like everyone else said above, the most important thing is your safety.

    If you have any clue that your dad might become abusive, might kick you out, might jeopardize your future in some way, please stay in the closet until you can fend for yourself. Its a lot to ask, its unfair, and you shouldn't have to, but your safety is your first concern.

    Glad you have a friend to talk to. That is amazing!

    Stick around here, ask questions and make friends. Your dad might come around eventually, but know its okay to remain in the closet for safety reasons.
     
    thexboxguy likes this.
  5. quebec

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    Aaryanna.....Hello and a very big welcome to empty closets! Coming out can be wonderful and terrible. Occasionally at the same time! The most important two factors in deciding when to come out are: 1) Come out when YOU are ready. Don't let anyone push you into it if you are not at the place where coming out is right for you...not them. and... 2) Don't come out if there is a real chance that you will be in danger. That includes being kicked out of your house, having no way to support yourself, having all privileges (phone, computer, friends, etc.) taken away, being verbally or emotionally abused as well as the danger of physical abuse. Waiting can be very difficult, but your safety and emotional well-being are more important. So yes, the "mountain climb" that is the coming out experience. Something that we have to fearfully force our way through...something that a straight person will never really understand. Telling a person who knows you so well...especially parents...that you are not who you appear to be. Been there, sobbed and cried through every second of it...waterfall tears. At that time I didn't think about sending a text, email or a letter to prepare the ground. HOWEVER...you can do that! :old_smile: There are some great sample letters here on empty closets that could be a big help to you. Even if you don't eventually use the letter, taking the time to think about it and to write one will help you be sure to say what you need to say and leave out the rest! Check them out...they could be a real comfort! Remember...you are a part of our LGBTQ Family and we do care! Keep us updated on how things are going for you!

    COMING OUT LETTERS: Go to the Login page, but do not login. At the top, you will see some links. Click on "Resources". That will bring up a page with a box on the upper left. In that box, you will see a link to "Coming out letters". Click that and you are there! I wish you much good luck...you can and will make it!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  6. Gutterpunk

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    i'm out to my mom's side of the world, meaning my stepdad, and my mom's family, but my bio dad is a bit of a hick, so i'mma wait until i move all my stuff out of his house.