i have posted on here many times about my sexuality and as sure as I feel sometimes, I can't seem to commit enough to start telling people. I constantly look for more proof that I am actually gay, I fear the finality of coming out of the closet; once I'm out there is not going back in. I have felt this way for 6 months now, do you think that is long enough to be sure? I want to be with a woman, I can picture myself doing everything in the future with another girl as a companion, it just seems right and I can't say the same for men. When I think about women I get a tingling in my stomach and this doesn't happen with men and I hardly connect with men on even a friendship level. side note: In my deep gay thoughts, I just remembered that about 7 years ago I used to literally cry in my bed at night to the song "Jar of Hearts" because I had feelings for a girl who I knew I would never be with... Im not sure how I seemed to have forgotten this, suppression is powerful. At the time I knew that I found her attractive but it never crossed my mind that I wasn't straight. I knew she was gay too and I found that mesmerizing.
I think so. I find telling others is difficult though, I haven't really figured out a way to do it smoothly. There are times where people don't believe me. (Granted, I only came out to a couple of people) I'm pretty sure this isn't just a bi thing, so I will say that it is up to you how often you want to come out: As far as I know, it isn't an one shot type of situation because you'll always run into people who won't know that you're gay regardless of the number of times you came out before. So, depending on the person you meet, you can decide whether to come out to them or not. I suppose this is less daunting. Good Luck!
I'm in the exact same situation (apart from not being sure about boys yet) and I know it's frustrating. It's like you know it is real and want to come out but your still afraid of the 'no way back' and the 'what if I'm wrong' I actually told 1 friend this week and I think that was another big confirmation. You don't have to tell anyone if you are not ready, I can only speak for me and it helped me so much. Just saying those words and explaining to someone I trust why I feel that way felt so incredibly good that I'm doubting myself a lot less. Before it was just an idea in my head and now that someone knows it kind of became real if you know what I mean, and that just feels right and I'm more sure of myself. Maybe there is someone you can talk with bit explain that you don't want to make it too 'official'? Have a nice day
Don't have to come out. You don't even have to be sure (even though you do sound pretty sure). 6 months is definitely long enough. You know your own feelings better than anyone else. Peace hope kittens and world domination with a side order of fries.
Wow it is refreshing to read this post, because im going through the same thing too. Discovering that i was actually bisexual was very recent and it made me very nervous to even think about telling anyone. I didn't want to think that I was going through a phase or if my feelings weren't real. I've done a lot of research on the lgbtq community and searched for different sexualities that I could possibly be. But I thought finalizing my decision was the hardest part. I learned very quickly that the coming out stage and facing my truth was the most difficult thing ever. I do plan on coming out very soon, so I hope you find the courage to face your truth and come out when you feel most comfortable. Also, focus on how you feel, not on what others feel about you, so that coming out feels easier
When I finally started accepting myself, and wasn't scared of my sexuality this is exactly how I felt about men, and never felt it about women even though I had girlfriends and even 'enjoyed' sex with them. From then on, I new I was 100% gay. but i still struggled with 'coming out' because , well what if it's all in my head?" i am not out comletely but i confided in a couple I am close with and i felt so relieved and now i just feel like i can be honest with them. Coming out can put some pressure on you if you announce it and then people expect like "so, then, Where's your girlfriend?" But if you're still not sure, then why not just pursue a relationship or attending some gay meetups, maybe a few dates and go from there?
You can never be 100% sure of anything. Such is world and such is science. This is your mind now. It's true. You can be certain about it. You know what you feel. Right? If you change your mind - that happens. Nothing wrong with that. People change. But yes, coming out helps to be just honest with people. It's a relief. You can not hide your thoughts. You don't have to have a girlfriend to be a lesbian. Full stop. (I prefer women btw and I've never had a girlfriend in my life) Yeah, also... coming out is a very gradual process. You come out to one person, then another and so forth... Who do you trust most and know is not homophobic? This is the person you go to first. Then you come out to next and next people and then make it public. Small steps. Then it doesn't get overwhelming.
