For those of you who have kept up with my post, I waited till this week to ask the woman I like to get together again, it’s been about 4 weeks since the last time I asked her and she actually had plans and was out of town (Facebook verified she was lol) I’ve already set my mind on it that if this time does not work out that I am going to leave it be and attempt to move on, I don’t like to be a pushy person at all. I’ve been married for over 10 years now, so it’s been a while since I have felt this way for another person, it feels new again, she is someone I have to see pretty much on daily basis, other than breaks when school is out. She is the first woman I have ever had feelings for and I feel like I am so consumed with her, seeing her just makes my heart race, so how do attempt to move on if this doesn’t pan out?
I try to distract myself. Although I didn't see this person every day, when someone had this effect on me it crippled me for months. So time did help. But I've tried to spend more time with family, take up more interests like doing online courses etc, and generally try to keep myself busy during the day. It does help, for me anyway. As much as I want to feel those feelings again, with someone who feels the same way about me, I've had to come back to myself for now. Focus on looking after myself, on what I want, on trying to get myself to a better place. Learning to be okay alone helps a lot, as it helps me see that a potential partner isn't necessary to me and my wellbeing, I can live without them. They'd just be a bonus, but I'm okay on my own. I don't know if this helps at all, but my best advice is to just keep moving. Hopefully someone can answer better than me but the busier and more occupied I am, the less time I have to think about the person who made me feel a similar way to you.
While I'm inclined to say "don't write things off just yet", I completely understand needing to mentally prepare yourself for the possibility. So, steel yourself as much as you can, but also try not to expect the worst. When you do go to ask her for a get-together, leave it open by offering your contact info as well. That way if it's not so much a "no" as a "not right now", you've left the ball in her court (rather than quitting the game altogether). Is it possible the "not right now" could really be a "no" in disguise, meant to soften the blow? Of course. But I think it really depends on the person in question. If you get the sense she's not interested in acquaintanceship of any kind, then moving on can be your next step; it won't be easy, and you're bound to have some backslide impulses now and again. But distracting yourself (as Cinnamoon said) will make it easier to bear over time. And if you find someone else that not only catches your fancy, but it turns out the feeling is returned? Well, that can make all the difference, too. So in sum: be prepared for any answer, be it a yes, no, not right now, and decide on your next course of action accordingly. For what it's worth, I hope things go well, even if you can only be friends.
Thank you!! I have been keeping contact with her through Facebook, I sent her a message Tuesday afternoon and she unfortunately has not been active for a couple days and has not read it yet, but I feel like it’s probably too late in the week now one thing that has crossed my mind is the fact that we are a little over 20 years apart in age so I don’t know if I’m her mind maybe she feels like we wouldn’t have anything in common and that I’m too young. I could go on with the “what ifs” all day. Lol I will report back if I hear from her tonight! Fingers crossed ❤️
