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how do two closeted guys hookup?!?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by onlythebulls13, Dec 24, 2012.

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  1. integrand

    integrand
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    he probably wants that too. going public with a relationship is a big step
     
    #21 integrand, Dec 24, 2012
  2. onlythebulls13

    onlythebulls13
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    Yeah that's a good point integrand! I bet that there is a really good chance that's the case.

    From the stories and advice I have gotten so far, I feel like putting myself out there for this guy is probably the best bet...let him know that I'm taking a leap of faith and hope that if it happens he's not gay then he'll respect the fact I told him straight up.

    That's why I really wanna get his number so if I get cold feet then I can always text him the next day or when the bar is closing/we leave...

    I know if I get his number it'll be a huge positive a good sign that he would want something more from me...even if it is just being friends at first
     
    #22 onlythebulls13, Dec 24, 2012
  3. integrand

    integrand
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    yeah, it's best not to make it obvious to others what you are trying to do. he may not want the extra attention. try to keep it as DL as possible to see if things work out first, and THEN you two can discuss how public you want to go afterwards assuming things work out....
     
    #23 integrand, Dec 24, 2012
  4. onlythebulls13

    onlythebulls13
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    Thanks for all the advice integrand, really appreciate it....I'm definitely going to be as discreet as possible. Its going to be a lot to do with the vibe I get from him that night, if he's been standoffish then there's no chance I'm making any kind of move. But if its how it was the other night then all you guys will be hearing about how I went for his number and told him I was gay lol
    You seem like you really got your shit together integrand, how'd you come out to your friends and family? If you don't mind me asking
     
    #24 onlythebulls13, Dec 24, 2012
  5. integrand

    integrand
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    Well, long story short I had been sneaking off with a guy I met online who lived nearby, and my parents had started to get curious about where I was going all the time. They went through my things and found some notes that he had written me (I was kinda young at the time, writing love notes was still hip, haha) and that is basically how they found out. But my mom told me she already knew basically, my dad was a little upset but he eventually got over it. we don't talk about it though, he just keeps to himself about all of it. my mom likes to know details about my love life, however. she is adorable haha.
     
    #25 integrand, Dec 24, 2012
  6. onlythebulls13

    onlythebulls13
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    Haha.... Come on now, everyone still send little love notes, we just do it over texts lol
    I think my family would be OK with it, they're all pretty liberal, my ma is a Lil conservative but it really only when we talk about religion.....my dad is a big progressive but I have no idea how he would react, hes strange to read and my bro is the one I think would change his views of me if anyone
    That's why I've only come out to my best friend, and he's been cooler than I imagined, when I first told him that I was gay his response was "are you kidding me, I thought you liked girls"...when he said that, I thought I made the biggest mistake of my life but I thought he meant are you kidding me in a bad way but he was like that's cool man, and we just talked about it for a little bit and I felt solo amazing
    He thanked me for telling him too and was like I know it must have been really hard for you to tell me
     
    #26 onlythebulls13, Dec 24, 2012
  7. integrand

    integrand
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    aww it's great that you have such an understanding friend :slight_smile: i wish i had that. i told a friend of mine back in middle school about my first sexual "experience" and she blabbed it to the entire school. the secret was basically out then, and everyone knew. but i am glad because without her i would have never told anyone myself. so i guess its a little bitter sweet.
     
    #27 integrand, Dec 24, 2012
  8. onlythebulls13

    onlythebulls13
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    Yeah, my buddy wouldn't tel anyone unless I told him it was cool, after I came out to him, I told him I'd rather he not tell anyone and he's like yes, that'd prob be best
    He has a good understanding, he said he kinda though I was gay at time but he said he was convinced that I was straight.... I was proud of my acting skills lol
    I kinda wanna be completely outta the closet by the time I'm 25 the latest, I'm already anxious to have a boyfriend that I can be myself with and cuddle with and not have to worry about be caught by anyone
     
    #28 onlythebulls13, Dec 24, 2012
  9. integrand

    integrand
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    i was officially out to everyone by the time i was 15 which is pretty early for most gay people, but my life hasn't really been bad because of it. people are pretty accepting and understanding these days, so hopefully you won't have too much trouble either.
     
    #29 integrand, Dec 24, 2012
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