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How do I tell people I'm bisexual when they all think I'm a lesbian?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by rainy30, Jun 7, 2018.

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  1. rainy30

    rainy30
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2018
    Messages:
    26
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    Location:
    England, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I know I am bisexual. It is a label that I feel so much more comfortable with, as opposed to identifying as a lesbian. However, a few years ago, I came out to my close friends and family as a lesbian and let them know I was only interested in girls. I don't know how to tell them I am indeed bisexual, and I'm scared they won't take me seriously. I did think I was a lesbian for a long time. However, throughout that period, I still felt some sort of attraction to certain men, and I ignored it, thinking that it "wasn't allowed" because I was a lesbian and there was no way I could find men attractive.

    If I am 100% honest with myself, I've had crushes on both men and women throughout my life - and that's something I've been starting to accept more lately. I know in my heart that I have the ability to feel sexual attraction towards both men and women whom I find attractive. Over the years, I've been intimate with both guys and girls (but my more serious relationships have more recently been with girls). I haven't dated a guy in years, and the thought of doing that again feels slightly scary. I've had a serious relationship with a woman before (and fell madly in love with her), but have actually never had a serious relationship with a guy.

    If I was to tell my friends/family that I'm bisexual, do you think I should wait until I possibly have a boyfriend? I feel like I'm currently in a very fragile state of mind... I thought I knew who I was as a lesbian, but now it's like I'm questioning myself all over again at the age of 23, by coming to terms with the fact that I have actually always been bisexual.
     
    #1 rainy30, Jun 7, 2018
  2. Niagara

    Niagara
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2017
    Messages:
    425
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    153
    Location:
    Florida - United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Personally I don't think there's a reason to tell them unless you get a boyfriend one day. Coming out twice like that to family is hard, but imagine doing it three times if you later decide Lesbian fits better again. It makes more sense to just keep it the way it is now unless there's a reason to change it like a boyfriend in my opinion. Straight people barely see a difference between bisexual and gay/lesbian anyway, when I was going by bisexual not one person I told ever correctly used the word bisexual, they'd always say gay instead (which turned out to be more accurate anyway).

    Every conversation was this:

    "Hey I'm bisexual"

    "Oh so you're gay?"

    "No I'm bisexual"

    "But you're dating a dude?"

    "Yes"

    "So you're gay?"

    "Ok fine."
     
    #2 Niagara, Jun 7, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2018
  3. Loves books

    Loves books
    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Ireland
    Wait until you have a boyfriend. People may not believe you are bisexual if you haven't been with a guy for a while. But do people need to know you are bisexual. They know you like girls and that was the hard bit. If you get a boyfriend letting people know should be easy. No one would care if you introduced a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. You may get a few I thought you were gay comments but you can always correct people who get it wrong.
     
    #3 Loves books, Jun 9, 2018
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