No matter how many times we get into arguments over trivial things, or how many times he hurts me and just flat out belittles me, I can't seem to get over him. I've tried so many times to try and fix things and restore something we had, but obviously he has no intention to. On top of it he tries to make it seem like my fault. So why can't I just let it go? It's hurting every day. I try to enjoy myself, go out, do whatever, but then I inevitably always end up thinking about him and it's all ruined and I just want to be home sulking in bed. I don't know why I feel this way about him, I honestly don't. I don't like him, his personality, his traits. I can tell he's, in general, not a very good person. He pretty much blatantly disregards everyone else's feelings and carries the "oh well" attitude about it. I try to focus on that, but every time he does anything minor that is nice and/or sweet I pretty much just ignore the bad things.
Do you love yourself? It's an important question, because your self-respect will colour your perception of this no-win situation (for you!) Loving yourself means not accepting being treated with anything less than respect. Loving yourself means advocating for your own needs and expecting nothing less. Finally, loving yourself will mean that you will have love enough to give to others in a way that is healthy and beautiful. Accept nothing less.
I feel the same way. We must not love ourselves. I say force yourself away from him, even though it hurts so bad, I know. It must be done.
“She has been hanging on to the hope of him for so long that she doesn't realize there isn't anything left to hope for.”* ―*David Levithan A part of you is hoping he will change. Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, maybe next week. Acceptance, my friend, is the key to moving on and letting go. Forgive and love yourself.
Sounds like he doesn't deserve you. So, fuck him. The best way to start the process of moving on is to put a "period" on the relationship. Accept that it is done. You can do better and you deserve better. This is easier said than done, of course, but everyone has to start somewhere.
Instead of focusing on what you miss try redirecting your thoughts to what you DON'T like about him. You said you don't know why you even like him, so start there. See? You've made progress already!
I do love myself. But there are those times when he's so amazing. I just tend to keep waiting and hoping maybe he'll revert into that sort of person for good? It was very similar to that before it all went downhill. This seems to be the over-all problem. I think that's what is hurting the most, that we used to be so close and different and now it's like this. I mean, there are some people he does have a heart with, I was one of them at one point. He's never given me a straight forward explanation, best I got was "We just sorta stopped hanging out as much." That doesn't really explain the attitude he has towards me now, as if I'm some sort of stranger.
