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How do I express my gender without family finding out.?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by danielle17, Nov 25, 2019.

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  1. danielle17

    danielle17
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2019
    Messages:
    8
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    Location:
    Santa Clara CA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    So I am interested in seeing myself in makeup, some self expression. I wanna say I'd be good at it. My only problem is how in the world am I supposed to buy the supplies without being questioned and apply without being seen. My mom, sister and I live in small living quarters, so they would find out, and they are transfobic. When I'm not at my mom's place, I'm with my dad: whom has been trying to get me to lift weights, so it is probably not for the best to be caught by him, no matter how supportive he may be.
    All this being said, I haven't come out as trans to anyone, as I don't exactly know how my family will react. Thankfully, I'm set to graduate highschool this year, so it's not like kicking me out is going to be much of a threat. In conclusion, I just want to express myself, without being judged, but since that's not going to happen, I at least want to be able to secretly express myself.
     
    #1 danielle17, Nov 25, 2019
  2. Jacqui H

    Jacqui H
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2019
    Messages:
    87
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    Syracuse, NY
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Danielle,

    Hi. I totally get your desires and concerns. I went through much of that years ago. I stayed hidden until about 5 Years ago. Got caught a couple times.

    Are you sure your family is transphobic? Do they know anyone, trans? My advice, for what it's worth.

    1 don't cut out your family. They may misunderstand but may change.

    2 Do you have a girl friend from school you are close to? Perhaps they could help you purchase and even give tips, if needed. My youngest daughter has done that for a friend.

    3 If you can, maybe go to a school counselor or private therapist. Work things out. Maybe they can help you with your parents.

    Good luck. I wish you love and acceptance.

    Warmly,
    Jacqui
     
    #2 Jacqui H, Dec 4, 2019
  3. Hawk

    Hawk
    Admin Team Full Member Away

    Joined:
    May 12, 2015
    Messages:
    13,419
    Likes Received:
    1,498
    Location:
    Alberta
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    To add to what Jacqui has said, can you take public transportation or walk/bike to local stores? If you can, you could express yourself by doing subtle things like painting your toes, or wearing ankle bracelets, or undergarments. Also with it being closer to Christmas, if anyone questions you, you can always say it's for a female friend or girlfriend.
     
    #3 Hawk, Dec 4, 2019
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