I have been stressing out about coming out. I've always had anxiety over other people judging me in general. My parents and sister know that I'm struggling internally over my sexuallity and are supportive. Does coming out of the closet reduce anxiety? And does anyone have tips for ignoring the ill judgement of others? Tips and support would be greatly appreciated.
Hi! You said that your parents and sister know that you're struggling over your sexuality. Does that mean you've already come out to them, at least to let them know that you were unsure about your sexuality? If you have now accepted yourself as gay and know they will be supportive, I'd say they're a good place to start, along with any close friends you know will be supportive. Coming out is stressful and anxiety producing, but it does get easier. I'm not sure exactly how old you are, but I'm guessing I've got a good number of years on you. I'm STILL in the process of coming out, both to new people who enter my life and old people who I wasn't ready to share that information with. At the same time, there are many people in my life who I told ten or more years ago. You have the freedom and right to set your own pace and do things as you feel comfortable. You are under no obligation to be out publicly unless you want to be and/or feel ready to be. So, to answer your question, yes, coming out reduces anxiety, but the extent and way and to whom you come out is your decision. If people judge you (which is a definite fear I've had to fight through time and time again), the thing to remind yourself is that you are doing nothing more than sharing your truth. There may be people who won't like it or react badly, but ultimately that's a deficiency in them, not in you. You may still be working on self acceptance, as I still was well into young adulthood. It helped me to face myself in the mirror and tell myself that I was good and that there was nothing wrong with me and that I liked being me. You definitely have my support! I admire your bravery and I REALLY understand how you feel. Just work on loving and caring for yourself, and don't be afraid to lean on others who love you. Feel free to write me a wall message if you ever want to talk directly.
Thanks so much for the kind reply! Was such a reassuring message to read before I try to get some sleep. The support is much appreciated .
You're very welcome! I'm happy to hear my message reassured you and put you in a good frame of mind to get some sleep! The most important thing you can do for yourself now and in the years ahead is to maintain within yourself a true sense of your own self worth. Your understanding of your own goodness and worth will serve you well when anxiety, fear, and feelings of inferiority start to creep in. It sucks that LGBT are put in the position to have to come out, and rising to that challenge is usually one of the most difficult things we ever have to do. But take things one day at a time, don't let others rush you into things you're not ready for, and most of all, LOVE YOURSELF-and you will be fine.
