"Homophobic" friends

It sounds like you have a good relationship with them. whether you come out to them, it's your decision. It could either change their opinions about it or stay the same and remain indifferent. Are you 100 percent sure about what their stances are about LGBT community in general? try asking them what they think about it?

i've been in that situation before. someone told me that they didn't agree with the "gay lifestyle" after known them for quite a while. my mind just switched to red flag when i heard that and told myself to avoid them. best decision i've made.

As much as you can hold onto that nostalgia, if they really do not agree with a stance like that, it could be toxic for you, especially if you want to be in the process of coming out. it's hard to let go sometimes and I can understand that anxiety just as much as everyone else in this site, but you have to think ahead and do what's best for you. You don't want to be the gal in the near future, facing constant discrimination everyday. take the chance to think about it. there's always other people that would be able to support you and be there for you just as your friends have right now. it might not seem like it doesn't affect you as much but it does.

 

I too have been in this situation. I fought it a different way.... In my case it was with my offroading club. Generally a very macho male machismo type group. I ended up becoming part of the staff as an opportunity to get to know people and to give them the opportunity to know me. After being part of the group for many years, it slowly snuck out that I was gay. It wasn't that it was a secret, I just didn't discuss it. And while the gay jokes certainly stopped (some of that stuff is funny, and I have thicker skin than that), they treat me like on of the guys. Which is what I always wanted... But this group is in California, in a more liberal area. And I am very lucky to have such unique people.

So like Bolt said, feel them out. Make sure there isn't just a vocal minority and odds are some people can think for themselves and won't care one lick about gay marriage... Though typically in the more conservative groups, that is less likely to happen...

 

Heh, that's tough. You can either come out and they will most likely treat you different or just stop hanging out with you. Or maybe, your friendship might mean something to them and they may change their views overtime.

Or

You look to make friends who are less bigoted. Personally, I never really became good friends with the people in my 'circle' who were like that. They were always acquaintances, even before I knew what I really was. I just don't like closed minded & small people.

 

I posted a thread awhile ago about my homophobic best friend, he's been my friend since we're little kids, so in my opinion your situation is a slight bit different, because it is a group of highly religious people. My friend is homophobic, but he's not religious. He had no choice but to accept me.

I noticed you're 20, so how long have you known them? My family on my mothers side is homophobic, and they're very religious. If I were to come out to them, they would not accept me and they've known me 22 years. They would judge me, read me the bible, and tell me how wrong I am. It might happen with your new friends who you just met. Be ready for anything, some people won't change unless they truly do LOVE you.

Just get new friends, there has to be tons of people in your college who are open minded and loving.

 

I am not sure I can be friends with homophobic people anymore, no matter how well we get along in other ways. I'm going though a bit of a personal struggle with this myself, at present. Despite my aching loneliness and wish for more human companionship.

 

I think you come out and you let the chips fall where they may. Don't assume people who you think are your friends won't be. People are surprising. I'm from Utah and my family and childhood friends are very Mormon. My partner is from Oklahoma and his people are very southern Baptist. Neither of us have really had any issues. Assume the best of people and sometimes people rise to your expectations.

 

Not exactly the same but I'm out to 2 christian, 3 mormon and 1 JW friend(s) at work.
They got to know me for a while before I came out and (don't mean to toot my own horn but) getting to know how awesome and "normal" I am before finding out about that part of my life made them a lot more accepting and I guess it made it harder for them to hate me for it.
They were also extremely supportive and helpful during a rough breakup that I went through at one stage. Great people to have around.

So, I suppose what I'm saying is that even some of the most religious/conservative people can have big hearts and the ability to see a fellow human being in front of them regardless of what they've been brought up to "believe".
Being religious definitely doesn't automatically make a person a homophobe/bigot etc... regardless of what they might have voiced within the ignorant bubble of not knowing "who" was listening. They might only feel and talk that way because they've never actually met or known an awesome/amazing gay person (like yourself).
If they're generally nice, beautiful people (and it sounds like they are), it sounds fairly likely that they won't judge you for your orientation. They might even think it's something interesting and and special about you.

Saying that, I do live in an area of Australia where religious people are kind of a minority as well. Thought I'd better add that, just in case.

Peace! (*hug*)

 

Unfortunately one of the downfalls of being gay is because of this. I've lost a couple friends because I knew they wouldn't be cool with it. It sucks but when your gay if you want healthy happy relationships you need to avoid people like this.

 

It's also possible that they voted that way because their parents did. I'm sure many kids simply vote the same as their parents the first few times. I know I did and I can't be the only one.
Is there an LGBT club/society on campus? Maybe peruse the list of societies with them as a cover to get opinions about interesting ones and see if you can get more insight into their true feelings. Maybe one or more will be revealed as not actually homophobic and you could start with them?
(You could also visit the LGBT club to widen your circle of friends.)

 

Well, get ready for anything. It will either be two things: They won't be your friends anymore, or they won't judge you. In my case none of my friends are religious, so I didn't have this problem and all of them have been completely supportive. Just wish for the best, but personally I'm not sure I can be friends with someone who is homophobic. If you come out and they are still talking in a homophobic way, then perhaps rethink twice your relationship with them.