(It was hard to phrase this...) Do men who like men find attractive different physical features than women who like men? Do women who like women find attractive different physical features than men who like women? I'm talking about mere sexual attraction, not romantic or aesthetical.
I've noticed that a lot of straight men tend are primarily attracted to conventionally attractive women- the ones you find in the media, porn, celebrities, etc. Where as lesbians have a much varied taste in my experience and are more likely to be attracted to butches, overweight women, women of different races, and so on. Not all lesbians are open minded to multiple people, but I've seen a higher rate compared to straight dudes. For example, it is not hard for me to get a date as an overweight woman with certain disabilities, where as I see so many straight women complaining about it in the same situation. As for me, I'm only attracted to feminine women, but I don't like the conventionally attractive media look. Simply because it looks overly fake and photoshopped.
Well, gay men are obviously going to pay more attention to physical characteristics, and it seems the more masculine, the better. I'd assume clothing that shows off more of the male physique (ie, muscle shirts) would be more popular. Apparently, both straight and gay men are attracted to sexually dimorphic facial features, so broad jaw and forehead for men, and tapered chin, larger lips for women. I think that's why gay men are considered to be more attractive than straight men: because of the ridiculously high standards, they're forced to work out and dress nice. Men don't put as much stock into a partner owning a house or having a high-paying job, probably because they don't have to invest in raising kids. Women pay attention to looks, but it's more a small piece of the puzzle. Guys like Curt Cobain, Johnny Depp, and Prince were wildly popular with straight women, but I hardly hear them mentioned by gay men. I know a lot of feminine guys have complained how they feel ignored.
That's a broad generalization that definitely doesn't apply across the spectrum of gay men. There are gay men who love men who are more androgynous or feminine, gay men who don't care at all about physical appearance, and gay men who *only* care about physical appearance. One can't generalize them all into one group. There's a lot of stereotyping and generalization throughout the entire post, but the above was the most egregious part of it.
Well as a woman who likes women... I find the conventionally attractive look almost offputting sometimes. And theres nothing more horrifying to me than porno girls... I like beautiful girls sure, but I'm too much of a tomboy to be down with hyper-femininity. Girls I like can be pretty feminine but a little bit of a tomboyish edge is preferable. I'll give you an example, rn I'm crazy about Emily from Pretty Little Liars (im only on season 1, no spoilers), but as soon as I looked at her actress Shay Mitchell's instagram I was slightly put off. She's super hot I'm sure straight men would agree, but on the show she's feminine but she's "the jock of the group" - a swimmer who she wears sneakers and denim jackets etc. On her instagram... she's always in a exotic place wearing amazing flowy dresses... too perfect, too... princessy... i dunno, I don't think I would go for a girl like that. I don't know if queer women are more into different races than straight guys and the weirdest bodily attribute I'm into is.. shoulders? that's all I have. I totally think its very diffrerent tho, I don't always understand the standards for the conventionally attractive look.
"Of different races": do you mean from a white point of view, or does it apply to all """races"""? (Off topic: I'm still not used to the world "race" when I read in English. In Italian no one would dare to say "race": we always say "ethnicity" or "place of origin". Races DON'T exist from a scientifical point of view and this word should stop being used NOW. It's dehumanizing.) -- As I adopted a masculine gender expression (as afab), I didn't expect guys to look at me more, and that intensely. Before, I "played the girl" and was almost pretty, but invisible. Now I expected at least to "look stereotypically lesbian" and be ignored by guys, but at the contrary they're interested in me like never before. This is weird. Are masculine women the new trend between straight guys now, in my country? Are they bored by long haired, foundation-ed girls? Are they fantasizing about a dominant-looking person?
Yeah, true. Having both male and female friends, I see that a lot. I'm not sure where on the gender spectrum I am myself, so I'll refrain. Crissadale, exactly the same happened to me. I guess a lot of guys just fancy the body. It's confidemce and how feeling comfortable in your skin works It makes you attractive.
OMG I've had this too! Though I would never say I was actually pretty before. Tbh I think it really shows the truth in that old advice that it's confidence that makes you attractive. My current look makes me stand out more and shows that I don't care about that, and makes me feel more comfortable and confident that I look exactly how I want to look - and really good at that. So yeah, I think being an individual person and being actually confident is always attractive. Although the media does reflect the tastes of most straight men... there are also a lot more straight men than queer women so its still not that hard to find guys with varied tastes. I have much more success with men than women. All the queer women I know are either in totally femme-femme relationships or are super alternative people running around living their "interesting" lives. Its pretty irritating. At this point I hope I find an actual consistent guy amongst the lot that I actually like because I get nowhere with women weirdly. (Oh yes and I also agree that the idea of "races" is flawed. It was made up to make non-whites seem like a different species (because that's what race means) that could be hunted and subjugated like animals. There is nothing seperate and descrete about different skin colours and other "racial" characteristics. They are all spectral and plenty of so called "races" are in fact only mixtures of other ones and plenty of "white races" are not even fully white. For example the whole of northern africa is a mix of subsaharan and european charactersistics and spain is a mixture of northern african and european despite being a caucasian country apparently. England is so white because of saxons and vikings as much as because of actual indigenous people. Even "native" american indians are partly asian. Theres no categorising this stuff and implying its as cut and dry as different species/races just always makes me think of the dehumanisation of slavery.)
I'm one of the "perpetrators" of this. Of course I try not to make anyone uncomfortable, but this is the way my eyes roam. Time spent at pools and gyms I guess. Confidence and health are attractive. I even (esp?) like shoulders. Good for hugging.
The word "perpetrator" makes it sound like a crime haha. I don't mind guys being into me. I like it sometimes but it hasn't really gotten me anywhere in terms of dating... I had one guy who really wanted to be my boyfriend I think but I wasn't into it and most of them I don't get to know as well as him. I also like the fact that I was right... I always said to my mum that me expressing myself boldly as a tomboy would not make guys not like me, and I was more correct about that than I could have known. What I do find baffling is how it hasn't helped me to even BEFRIEND queer girls let alone date them. All my admirers and my friends are straight guys. There are plenty of very feminine but sportier women at pools and gyms tho as far as I see. I'm the one wearing men's gear working the barbell while they're on the treadmills in leggings. Not that I don't love treadmills but I really don't love leggings.
I find that sexual attraction to "presentation" and attributes is completely subjective from person to person. When I was androgynous, I never had any problem attracting bed partners. Now that I am no longer quite so androgynous (due to a facial scar) I still have no issues attracting attention and, if I was single, would have no problem attracting bed partners. My sister is very femme, but she is not the "big boob, big lips" physique. She has absolutely no problem attracting attention from men and women alike. As mentioned above, I think (in general) that confidence has far more to do with attracting partners than one's appearance (with the exception of hygiene). Wallflowers rarely get noticed by anyone other than those specifically attracted to wallflowers.
Ha, yeah perp is a bit harsh. But it made you smile. And really, it makes me feel a bit like a perv, inadvertently hitting on gay girls. (They are of course nice about it. Some become BFFs. So fun to talk with.) Ever since my HS gf was (and still is) a world-class swimmer, I've noticed those shoulders. (Olympics, sigh!) I do sympathize with the irony of what you and Crisalide experience. And can only fall back on the well-worn advice: you might not attract everyone, but you'll attract the quality ones.
