A question for fellow gay men: Do you think the "gay death starts at 30" thing is a myth? Ever since I turned 29 at the end of September, this has been repeatedly gnawing on my mind. Most of my 20's were spent either in the closet (when I was twink-ish, but in complete/total denial of being gay or even bi at 18-21), or a fat and miserable (and thus rejected) but "out" 22-28 year old. What now? I've just turned 29 and am back in reasonable shape. Do I prepare for everything to take a downhill route from here going forward? I've never had a boyfriend, I've had sexual experiences, but nothing frequent or even that meaningful. What other 26-38 year olds would even want me as a partner during my 30's, considering my utter lack of relationship experience, as well as pretty modest sexual experience? I still feel physically most attracted to guys in their early-mid 20's, but mentally and emotionally attracted to those my age, plus/minus a few years.
the gay death thing is a myth. maybe its true for some. personally i am hit on more now in my early 40s than ever before. usually by guys younger than me. heres what i know: 1. keep yourself in shape and if you are relatively attractive you will be able to get sex from guys without a problem. 2. 29/30 is very young. 3. age shaming in the gay community is real but this is around the gay club and bar scene. if you want anything meaningful leave that scene alone and leave the hookup apps alone. 4. at 30 many gay men have been going to gay clubs since 18/21. many are tired of the hookup scene and want something more meanjngful. 5. i for one would love to date someone leas experienced. id feel not as alone myself and would think they could relate to me more.
Oh lord. Ugh. Smh. V_V. It's not about sex all the time. I never hooked up ever, I don't like it. I don't like having sex with random guys. Some people are attracted to opposites and like bigger people. I don't mind bigger or fat guys. In some instances yes, in others it's not and it's that age to where you are expected to have some experience in interpersonal relationships. This is puzzling, as before you are kinda giving tips into hooking up, ergo saying staying fit and attractive or guys won't like you, now you're saying to leave the hookup scenes and apps. Hmm. Interesting. I see. Perhaps. I would like to date someone attracted to me, and preferably someone who is okay with the fact I don't really care for anal sex, it's not really my thing. Not really into hooking up.
im not into hooking up and certainly not giving tips for it. but the fact remains you said 29/30 was some sort if gay death and i was just saying if you are in shape and cute not sure why its a gay death. if you are not in shape and quirky looking you can find someone too. theres someone for everyone out there and opposites often attract. also if someone is gonna judge you because you are not experienced why would you want a loser like that anyway. theres someone that will find it hot. anal sex is overrated. i dont need it either
Yeah, none of my former sexual encounters involved anal penetration. So I guess that makes me a "virgin." On top of that, I lean towards being a top mentally-speaking, and have a 4.5 inch dick, which is too small for most bottoms.
Yes, there are gay people over 30! And many of us find relationships in our 30's, 40's and beyond. Why not take your nervous energy about turning the 30 and use it as an opportunity to reflect and create a plan to get what you want?
Totally not true, although I will say that thirty was hard for me. For me I think it was more that I was sort of transitioning to a new lifestyle and I wasn't sure that I was ready. I was quite a party boy in my twenties and as I got older I started to sort of become a different type of person--long term relationship, starting to take my job more seriously, looking at buying a house--and to be honest I didn't want to leave who I was behind. My twenties were awesome and I genuinely didn't want to see them go. If on the other hand you are talking about sex and relationships and all that it certainly hasn't been my experience that it somehow ends at thirty, even in the club scene. I'm 46 and my husband is 52 and if we don't practically hang on each other when we go out we both still get hit on.
