Right So I know I should probably just stick all my issues into one thread but it just feels easy create multiple threads... anyways I'm rambling on too much here So If you saw my earlier threads then you'd know am starting work in a supermarket in a few weeks time and I wanted pointers on how be or 'appear' more sociable. Now I've stumbled across another problem... well I wouldn't say 'problem' is the right word for it so lets just call it an issue. I know some people don't mind gay people and some people do. Now I'm not going to shove me 'being gay' into everyone's faces at work and its basically not important for them to know. I just wanted to know if in the case of making friends, is it a good idea that they don't know since I don't know what some peoples views on the 'gay' are although I could probably get a general idea through observation. Possible scenarios if you will 1) What if were all just chatting and then the question of "so do you have a girlfriend?" pops up now do I either just brush it off or tell them openly that girls just don't "float my boat" for want of a better phrase. 2) Assuming scenario 1 doesn't occur, what if I decide to tag along and have a few drinks with my possible future friends and the question of "what do you think of her?" or "isn't she hot?" or something along those lines. Of course I'm talking guy friends here cause girls are completely different story. 1) What if, heaven forbid, a girl should start flirting with me? ha... I'm talking as if I'd actually know when a girl is flirting with me. How do you let them down gently and still remain friends Basically I'm not expecting all or any of these issues to occur but if they do or similar then I don't what to do. I know at the last place I worked, a good couple of years ago now, was also at a supermarket and there was a gay guy working on our department and we were all fine about it... at least is seemed gay. Maybe my gaydar worked better when I was in the closet but I digress So Thoughts and opinions and I'm not talking about any discrimination from employers, just the scenarios I posted and similar thanks guys
I think before anyone here can give you some concrete suggestions on those scenarios, you need to decide for yourself: "How comfortable am I with being out to strangers?"
I don't think I'd mind It's more a case of the reactions I might get and whether it would be worth it telling them or not. I mean I wouldn't just blatantly bring it up for no apparent reason but if those scenario's did happen... would it best to confirm it or just brush it off I guess I could cage reactions by just observing people and get an idea. I just don't wanna end up in the situation of making friends, them finding out I am gay and then rejecting me or something.
Honestly, when people ask me if I have a boyfriend, my response varies depending on who the person is who's asking. If it's someone I figure will be pretty open-minded, I might say, "No, but I have a girlfriend." But with most people, I just say no. When in doubt, I just smile and say no.
I generally wait until I have a fairly good idea of a person's reaction before I tell them. For this reason, I've almost always gotten the reaction I expected, if I did decide to come out to them.
Why not answer the girlfriend question with "I'm not seeing anyone right now." or "I am seeing someone right now." And keep it genderless. If they pursue it, then they ASKED for it, regardless of how they feel about sexuality. Same thing with the hot/not questions...."Not exactly what interests me." or something similar. It puts the ball right back into their court, and I think a lot of people who are comfortable with sexuality just leave it there, but it allows someone who wants to know you better the room to. As for letting girls down gently and still being friends, I'm not as experienced at that one....
