Hitting the wall

Is it possible to take us back a little ways? How did you get into the marriage, how did you perform satisfactorily, did you have any inklings about your sexuality, and do you think your wife did? Very few people are able to pull it off, but most people can't. There are very few surprises, even with traditionalists. With some of these couples that make it down the aisle, I have often seen some denial on the part of one or both. With one couple I know, I believe the wife stays in the marriage because her intimacy needs are minimal and it is she who wants to be married, but they don't have kids. She has joked with her husband about other potential interests he may have. That sounds to me like she suspects.

I read a lot of good advice up above. Merge or pick and choose what might work. Many traditionalists keep marriages together for the sake of children. At a certain point, kids grow up and parting ways is now becoming more common and there are support systems to handle it. I don't have any specific advice since I've never been in this situation, but so many others here do.