Hey. So, I'm starting grade 9 tomorrow. I just moved to a new province and stuff, so no one really knows me. I've been living as stealth for a bit now, and I can pass really well. Everyone thinks I'm a cis male. Though my parents still call me by my birth name (& my parents use female pronouns) and so does everyone else. Only one friend calls me Alexander, but she's back in Ontario. I want to bring up the topic of introducing myself as Alexander with my parents, but I don't know how they'll react. I know they'll love me no matter what - that's been proven. My mom's only just beginning to use male pronouns in front of friends, which is great. But the matter or my name is a whole other conversation. I've been tempted to just do it anyway without asking them, but I'd feel bad doing that. I want to be open with them about what I'm doing and stuff. So they know what's going on. But I'm genuinely terrified. This girl I know, I'm meeting her early at the school so I can get my schedule and have a quick tour. And I need to talk to the teachers - and her - to call me Alex instead of my birth name. I'm just scared and I have a few hours to figure out how to approach the conversation of my name with my parents and just figure out what the hell I'm going to do for school. I'm planning on staying stealth but there are tons of things that could go wrong or out me... :icon_sad: :bang: :help:
Maybe instead of asking you're parents, express to them that this needs to happen for your well being? Instead of is it okay if I do this. say,, Getty at this school i'm going to do that. Does that make sense?
Yeah, alright. Something like, "I'm going to do this whether you like it or not, this is for my sanity".
Yes, but not in a defensive manner. Whether you like it or not sounds, like you are ready to fight. But I would not give them the option to say no.
Maybe you could just ask them to talk and try to do it calmly (so no one gets defensive because that won't work in your favor). You could say something like "I know this might be kind of hard for you guys and I understand that, but I've given this a lot of thought and I think I'd like to introduce myself in school as Alex. It would make me feel a lot better." Hope this helps and good luck!
