Hey everyone. I have found this through one of the forums I visit. I'm a 16-year-old girl, in my first relationship. I've been with him for 4 months now and I love him so much. We have a really close relationship and he's such an awesome boyfriend. Well, up until maybe a month or so ago, I assumed I was straight and assumed what I felt towards guys was sexual attraction, although I always knew I had very little physical attraction. But well, I just ended up thinking about things and questioning myself and realized that what I feel is not at all sexual attraction. It's actually romantic attraction. And in just that short time, I realized that I think I would consider a relationship with anyone. I have determined that I am asexual by definition (which is that I don't experience sexual attraction). But I do still want sex, purely as an expression of love since I don't have a sex drive at all nor do I get turned on unless I am touched sexually by my boyfriend. I told him this 2 days ago and we've been talking about it quite a bit since then. He's extremely confused, but feeling better. He's accepting this especially because I've reassured him over and over than I still do want to have sex with him eventually. He still wonders if maybe I'm just confusing my feelings, but I've told him I'm not and so he accepts that supportively. I am a member of asexuality.org and have found support there, where they also agree that I am asexual. My boyfriend and I have had some disagreements about this, but we've talked alot about it and worked all the feelings out. So we're good now. :icon_bigg He also mentioned last night (texting) that he might be bisexual. Now, that's totally fine with me, but it's just a little overwhelming right now. He just mentioned it once and hasn't seemed to feel the need to bring it up again. I've tried hinting at us talking about that, but he usually turns it into questions for me, so I'm not gonna push it. It doesn't matter anyway. Just another thing to add on top of my confusion about my own sexuality at the moment. As far as romantically, I'm very confused. Asexuals can be aromantic, heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, and panromantic. I'm thinking maybe I'm bi- or pan- but not ruling out hetero- romantic. I just am really confused about how I feel regarding gender since there is no sexually attraction to base it on. I've decided not to worry too much about it at the time being, but I do think about it some. Anyway, the reason I'm here is to hopefully meet other asexuals aside from those I've met through AVEN. And just to talk to people who understand my confusion, my questioning, and general identity/sexuality/whatever issues. Wow, that was really long. Sorry. Thanks if you took the time to read all that. So... Hey
Well you seem to be on a good path to finding and defining your sexuality, or lack there of Its good that your boyfriend understands, and if hes Bi im sure that helps me accept you a little easier. Just try to be as accepting of him, as im sure you want to be accept by him so just return the favor Again, Welcome! Nice to see some variety on the forum. We thrive on difference cause thats what makes us all the same, is a weird ironic way.
wow, that was probably the most interesting introduction i've ever read. i've never known anything about asexual people before, it sounds much more confusing than being gay or bi...heh sorry, i'm just thinking. welcome to the forums. good luck on figuring everything out, and let us know when you do
Hi there and welcome to EC. It sounds like you have done a lot to educate yourself. At 16 I was so completely clueless it isn't even funny! At the same time, you are just 16, so there's no real hurry to figure any of this out. Take care!
hi welcome and i agree with jim you are young and things change dont rush to label yourself or think youve figured things out cos once you do they change just to confuse you lol take care
Hi and welcome to EC! It's great that you have joined EC! Hopefully it will help you to figure a few things out.
hi welcome to EC hope you know we are here to help you but remember your young you have along time to figure things out.