Hey, My names Peter, I’m 40 years old and I live in a small town near Cardiff in South Wales. In the last five years I’ve come to the realisation that I am gay. I’ve been in relationships with women and even have a son. As I’ve got older I’ve noticed I haven’t really fancied women and I’ve looked at men in a completely different way that I’ve ever looked at woman. Five years ago when I started to feel confident about myself I started going to a lot of bars with one of my friends. I loved being out and how freeing it was but I was very nervous about talking to guys. I’ve kissed a couple of guys but have never gone any further. Since Covid my confidence has gone a little and I hardly go out now. The reason I’ve come on here is id like to connect to people and get advice because there’s not really anyone I can talk to about this. Thanks For Reading g
Hello Peter, Welcome. i'm fairly new to Empty Closets as a site, but not new to what you are experiencing. i've met some great people here. i can tell you, you are not alone here unless you want to be. We do build closets out in the real world, eh? We learn early one that being gay, or different from the norm in many ways, can have less than wonderful consequences. Live long enough though, and we discover there's also consequences to living in hiding. i'm convinced the number one drive, the thread that runs through all of humanity, is the desire/need to be known, affirmed as having value (to someone at least), accepted. A problem is, society, and different cultures making society, sets up these standards and calls them "normal." Those who deviate from 'the norm' are called "deviants" and often rejected, ostracized, even imprisoned. Early on, we learn to hide, but in so doing, we stay unseen, un-affirmed and unloved for who and how we really are. i think "the norm" is a sort of silent killer far more pervasive than covid. Yikes, sorry, i sorta went on there. The good news is, you really are not alone, and better, you're in a safe place where you can be who you are and not fear rejection, rather you'll find people who can relate.
Peter…..Hello and a big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent! ) when that becomes necessary! This is a safe community of loving, caring and very supportive people and we will do our best to help you blend into the community. *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out, join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When I first joined Empty Closets I was in need of a lot of support and encouragement and I found it here…EC is a safe place. I hope that you'll find good things here too! Folks here will talk to you and share...you don't have to be afraid of asking questions...we're glad to have you! Empty Closets is all about making connections and giving LGBTQ folks a voice when they otherwise don't have one in their day-to-day lives. *****In particular you may want to check out the forum that is titled "Sexual Orientation”, there are people there who may have dealt with some of the same kind of issues that could be challenging you. Some info on how to navigate EC: When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something”. When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. Only A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) and then only to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can always send me a Private Message. …..David
Welcome Peter. I'm new here myself but I've already found it very helpful. The people here are very supportive.