i was wondering about these people who claim to be gay then they say oh god made me straight i now have a wife and kid and blah blah blah and what if i get bored of being gay or it gose away then what
Doesn't really happen. You can't go to God and pray it away (many have tried and it's got them nowhere) and you can't ask God or some charlatan therapist to fix/repair what isn't broken. People who claim to have been made straight are deluded. It may be true that they have married and had kids, but all they've really done is buried the issue and suppressed their feelings. It doesn't go away and it's best likened to putting a lid on a volcano.
PatrickUK....I have read many of your posts and found them on-point and very helpful. However, this time you have summed up 55 years of my life in just a few words. I knew...I always knew, but what I was expected to do, who I was literally pressured to be, took all those years away from me. At the age of 65 the lid finally did blow off the volcano. I sometimes experience great anger at what I feel was done to me. It's not that I've had a horrible life...in the eyes of society I am the ideal man. A very successful teacher, I really did help a lot of kids. I have been married for 39 years...no divorce. My wife and I have actually never had an argument. Chairman of the board of deacons and secretary/treasurer of my church. Three adult sons who are also doing very well in their careers. Four healthy, bright grandkids. What else could I possibly want? I WANT TO BE ME...THE REAL ME....NOT THE FAKE THAT EVERYONE SEES. I want to be rid of the mask that I wear. I want to stop filtering every word I say because I might give myself away. I want my family and friends to really know me and accept me as a gay man. Sorry...I'm getting off topic here...my response to taurus12.... as PatrickUK said...you can not "pray the gay away". Believe me, I tried. I tried for over five decades to be rid of the terrible sin, the abomination that was me. It won't work and if someone says that God changed them, they are lying to you and themselves. If you are a believer, then you have to believe that God made us this way. If that is true then we are not broken and do not need to be fixed. What we need is to be able to reject what we have been told about the sinfulness, the aberration of same-sex attraction. I am right-handed from birth, I have blue eyes and blond hair from birth, I am gay from birth. I can not change any of these things...they are me. Don't try to fix what isn't broken.....David
It feels rather odd to press the like button for your post David, but I have, simply because you outlined the reality of what denial is and how it affects us on an emotional level. It creates within us a simmering pain and rage that no prayer can answer and reparative therapy cannot touch. Our sexuality is not a sin or moral failure that needs to be addressed or manipulated in some way and behaving like ostriches with our heads in the sand will only bring us more distress and defeat. You said you went off topic, but really, you didn't. The original question was about changing our sexuality, or having it changed and what that amounts to is denial of self in the face of societal pressure and a need to conform. Your personal experience of doing all of that and the resulting pain it's caused is entirely relevant to the question and this thread.
thanks guys for your help and amazing you can just be open about your story i think it will help alot
I am not big on labels to begin with, but I also feel you need to follow your heart. Some people like both men and women, and well some people think being gay is wrong or an illness. I do not believe it is wrong or an illness. I believe in Love.
It's almost funny but sad to see the people that have deluded themselves in to thinking they were turned straight again. But as to living the fake life with a spouse and kids, that's what gay people in the past did for hundreds of years and I thank whatever higher power that exists that I was born in this day and age. I think conversion therapy can't possibly work and they are psychologically damaging people who want to be normal of in most cases torturing kids who's parents won't accept them. I suppose of the conversion therapy is bad enough you'll say and do anything for it to stop. I read a book called Rosemary and Juliet by Judy MacLean where one of the characters was forced to get aversion therapy by her dad. of course it didn't work but the guy who did it was awful.
