Help With Feelings For Friend....Does He Like Me Too?

Hi. This is my first post on here, and I'm doing it cos' I need some advice....I don't know what to do.

This could be long so bear with.....

It all started in May when I met my friend (i'll call him Al). We met while I was out with my friends, he seemed a real easy going guy. After a couple of weeks we started to hang out a bit, then a bit more, until we were seeing each other a few times a week. We'd chat by text, phone nd on facebook basically everyday. After about a month, it felt like we were really getting on, until it hit me, I realised that I had a crush on him.

The thing is, the more we saw each other nd spoke to each other, face to face, and through fb etc, I started to get the feeling that he had the same feelings.

There were little signs telling me this was the case:
- He would text me just to tell me how his day at college was or how work was going nd would often ask how I was doing, for no real reason,
- When we were hanging out with each other, there would be a lot of flirtatious staring at each other,
- A lot of flirting through touching, winking, sticking tongues out etc,
- Sitting very close to me, even when it was not needed,
- Lots of compliments to each other, mainly when talking online,
- We started hugging when we'd say bye at the end of the day when we've spent time together, but not when around other mates (and I don't mean the guy 'keep the groin region apart' hugs).....it felt like more

....you get the drift.

Anyway, throughout this it became apparent that he was 'straight'. He would often talk about girls nd stuff, nd then he started seeing a girl he met in July (they are now going out), however this apparent flirtatious behaviour continued between us. One day when he was round mine he said that he was a bit homophobic as we were discussing a friend of mine who is gay, however all the above was still happening. Him nd his gf apparently get on well, but they hardly see each other, he says she's always busy, but he prefers to spend time with me or our other mates at weekends instead of going to see her. He said today that he aint seen her in two nd a half weeks. We spend a lot of time together, going to cinema, hanging out at each other houses, nd he's stayed at mine like 4 times already. I really thought something was there between us.

However, in the last few weeks he acts different around me, and this flirtatious behaviour has started to fade. We still see each other several times a week nd still talk regulary on the phone, but we don't have as many convo's online nd by text (its very difficult to get a reply), tho we still hug when we say bye after seeing each other (again usually when we're alone). It is almost like he's trying to distance himself a bit maybe.
One thing I have noticed though is that he is flirty around one of our other mates, but often looks my way when he does it, as if to perhaps make me jealous??? Its annoying to say the least.

My feelings for him are just as strong now as they were back in the early summer, and I've not tried to make it too obvious that I really like him in fear of freaking him out. One of the times he stayed round I very nearly told him how I felt. I walked out the house because I felt sooo uncomfortable nd when he asked what was up, I said I couldn't tell him because I thought it would ruin our friendship I just tried not to think about it. It was so hard!
I'm now at a stage where I really just don't know what to do I've found myself crying myself to sleep because there is one part of me who wants to be honest and tell him how I feel, but at the same time, I'm trying to hold back these feelings because I really value his friendship. I don't want to ruin it because I know that putting this stuff aside, he nd I get on really well and we enjoy each others company. Just writing this brings a tear to my eye because I'm struggling with my emotions. I tried speaking to a friend of mine, who's convinced he does like me but otherwise, couldn't give me much advice. I hope by posting to this forum, I hope maybe there's people out there in the same situation or have been in similar situations who can help. PLEASE HELP ME? :bang: I would be so grateful. Thanks for reading, sorry its long but hopefully, including as much info as poss can help you readers. Thanks again

 

Believe me, I really want to come out to him. If I do and he doesn't feel the same way, then I can probably live with that, though I'd be gutted I guess. One of my biggest fears is that I tell him and he then does the worst thing and cuts me out of his life. We hang out with the same ppl and do the same hobby, so would see each other still on a regular basis. It would be seriously awkward. With whats happening at the mo, I wish I told him one of the nights he stayed round. He prob would have been fine about it, atm I'm not too sure