Help! Crisis Mode.

Definitely what Rayland said, that seems like number one.

Are the medical issues resolved, or at least as well as they can be, or is something with that still holding over your head?

On the "1" and "2" above, it seems like you have some evidence for 1 now, but again, this seems like time for a frank talk with your wife about it. On 2, that's a little thornier. I think the main relevance to that right now is in helping you to decide what you want to do about your marriage.

 

Your sense of humour will get you through all of this.

Firstly I hope that your health issues are now resolved. It sounds like you went to hell and back there after your surgery and recovery.

Secondly, I’m so glad that you and your wife are getting along good. This means that you are both able to communicate and reach a place in both your lives where you will be happy, even if that does mean a divorce. You can still be friends and support each other.

 

I hope you're at least physically ok now, sounds like you've really been through the wringer.

I don't have much useable advice here, as I've luckily been in decent health and never been married. So take what I say with a grain of salt. If she actually wants to leave, don't beg her to stay. I know it hurts like hell, but begging won't help. You probably know that already. I still think you should sit down and talk about this with her, maybe there are other ways to work things out besides divorce.

 

Honey, I am so sorry you're going through all that right now. I, like many others, wish I could give you a great big hug right now, but I'm afraid all I can really offer is condolences and some minor advice on the relationship front.

As far as your health goes, I'm sorry you've suffered physically to the point of personal trauma. The only advice I can offer in regards to it is please remember in these times to adhere to your doctor's instructions as best as you possibly can, if there are any ongoing concerns.

I'm not going to pretend I can fix your marriage with a few pointers, because I can't. Nobody can. You and your wife have to solve this problem together, as you know. If, as you say, she's getting along with you well enough to keep things civil, I'd try to get as many answers as to what responsibilities she wants to rid herself of; get a better picture of what she's trying to get away from.

From my extremely limited perspective, it sounds like she's changed and she's either not sure in what way and wants to figure it out on her own or, more likely, is afraid to tell you because she doesn't want to hurt you. Based on your description of being "friendzoned" it may be a loss of sexual interest.

I don't mean to add to your stress, of course, I would just consider that as a possibility. Either way, you know we're here for you, and we'll offer whatever we can.

If nothing else, remember to take care of yourself!

 

So, I by no means wish to intrude, however I must ask, your heart remains a source of continued physical worry, right? If so, I ask you keep that paramount; focus on whatever step is best for your heart.

I've done some research based on what you've said. I trust there is a diet, exercise, and sleep regimen both your doctor and therapist would prefer you stick to. For whatever it's worth, I want you too, as well.

I only say this because, if I were in your position, I would give in to whatever made me feel better; certainly have a few drinks - you know, "just this one time." Because I'm an alcoholic. And I'd hate to see you sabotage your health the way I do, amid everything else happening to you.

You absolutely have a future, and it's better than your present, just don't take any chances with your body and health after everything you've been through!

As for the gentleman who asked you out, what are your feelings on it, beyond surprise? Elaborate as you will, and then weigh it against your circumstances; I would do this, and can offer nothing more... except love.

Which I'm sending; we're all sending it, en masse! ^___^

 

So, speaking only for myself, I'd have to weigh that excitement against the weight of the pain I felt at the thought of losing my spouse. I wouldn't want to jump into something new to try and erase that pain, because I've done that a thousand times, and it ruins everything.

I cannot speak for you, my beautiful friend, and fellow trekkie (Picard is my capo, btw, with Sisko a close second), these are merely the pitfalls I would fear in your position, knowing what I do of myself.

If your circumstances are different, that's understandable and I don't mean to offend in any way. I just want to give you the best advice I can, and... well, there it is!

 

I mean, if you feel like something's (let's call it fate's) smacking everyone upside the head with the answer, and all your friends are telling you that your wife and you are Splitsville, and here's this new guy who makes your toes curl... I hate to be a bitch, but... do you need an engraved invitation or are you looking for someone to talk you out of it?

 

I'm sorry, forgive my density, probably the exact opposite of which? Do you mean you need someone to talk you into it?

 

If my permission will change your mind, you have it. Not every adventure life presents us is worth taking, but if I were you... run at love. The one you've got clearly wishes you well, but is looking for the door, just... don't expect this one to be the one, you know? I think you know that.

If anyone else's permission is needed, I hope you find it. I hope your journey of self-discovery is everything you need! And I hope I haven't misled you in any way! But I think there are new horizons awaiting you and you want to greet them so... what are you waiting for?

 

I say at least wait until you have the conversation with your wife, confirm that she's entirely sure she wants divorce at least before you do go on a date (or further) with this guy. This will ensure that you're not cheating and putting a nail in the coffin so to speak. Decision is yours though.

 

I'm so sorry, @bsg75apollo , we're all here for you.