my name is Heather and M 40 years old as my name says M wildly confused I know I am very much attracted to men physically emotively and spiritually in fact I just lost my male partner in September to three week battle with cancer and am very much heart broken still cant imagine dating again so this journey IM down to figure out who I am is much deeper then finding a partner its making scene of all the messed up feelings in my heart and head knowing IM not ready to date takes some of the pressure off I went to my first PFLAG meeting yesterday and felt like I never fit in mostly everyone was trans gendered and for the most part very much out and proud I feel like I don fit in any where in this world I know I have an attraction to women something stronger then she good looking I feel drawn to to them on a more spiritual level but like as i stated at the beginning i have that same feeling toward men some how its different between the two ones not stronger then the other just different to add to my confusion at the PFLAG meeting I found one of the preop transexual very attractive sorry im rambling but im trying to make scene of all this why labels are so important to me I don know i just want to feel a bit less crazy thanks for listening and looking forward to getting to know you all