I joined this group because I just found out my brother is gay and I was hoping people here could give me some advice. I am a 25 year old man, and my brother is 23 and just recently came out to my mother while she was visiting him across the country. My family is very loving, open, and kind so she is completely accepting and just wants him to be happy. Here is the tricky part: My brother only came out to my mother, she came home and told my father and I. My father and I are both totally accepting and this doesn't change the way we feel about him. However, I am furious with my mother for betraying his trust and telling us. I feel like she robbed my brother of a very important part of his life, I'm not sure how he would react if he found out she told us - probably very hurt and pissed. Now, I don't know what to do. Part of me thinks we should just keep quiet until he tells us then act surprised, but I would feel like I am lying to him. My father just wants to tell him that we know, and doesn't think it is a big deal. I just wish my mother kept her mouth shut so he could tell us when he is ready... He lives across the country and we aren't sure when we will see him in person next. I think he knows that me and my dad would be fine with it. I know how important this conversation will be for him, and I want to make sure me and my day do the best thing for him now that my mother screwed things up. What should I do?
Ask your mother if she had your brothers permission to tell you and your father. If so, leave it be. If not, tell her exactly what you've told us, because you are right, it is not her news to spread and it IS a betrayal. Ask her to apologise to your brother.
She didn't have his permission. Thats what also makes me nervous, I don't want my mothers mistake to sour their relationship. ---------- Post added 15th Mar 2014 at 06:56 PM ---------- She didn't have his permission. Thats what also makes me nervous, I don't want my mothers mistake to sour their relationship.
Hi there! I guess you have to talk to your mother and discuss about it. Try to explain things to her. It's nice to know you are very supportive of your brother, he's lucky to have you.