Hey there. I had the guts to ask out this guy I have a huge crush on and in he said yes (I got past the first hump, which was rejection). For some reason though I feel like he is doing it out of pity. We played on a same bball team in a gay basketball league and the season just ended, which caused me to ask him out. I am already expecting rejection after the first date, but I'm still worried about being hurt. I even want to make mention of it tomorrow saying something at the end of the date like, "I don't want you to feel like you have to go on a second date with me" because I plan to pay and everything. But then I know that sounds super degrading and I know how bad a lack of confidence looks. I have never been this nervous for a date and I"m a mess. Have you ever went out with someone out of pity?
I have. There's an Indian guy at my place of work who chased after me for years after I started working here. It seemed like he's desperate to be with someone, and he then put his focus on me. I don't date outside of my race (I'm white) so he never stood a chance anyway. Then a few years ago, he asked me out to lunch. I agreed because I pitied him. I didn't want to go on a second date, so I ordered the most expensive stuff on the menu (He was paying) and outright rejected him when he invited me over to his place for "coffee". The stuff he said to me on the "date" put me off him completely, hence causing me to pick the most expensive food. He was being overly sexual with me and I didn't like it. He probably thought that his dirty talking would get me horny or something, but it did the exact opposite, since I didn't fancy him one bit romantically, or even platonically. We're now not on speaking terms anymore, he barely greets me now, and I'm glad. He used to come to my office to have small talk (I hate small talk) and I pretended to be busy on my pc the whole time, and I didn't even hear much of what he said. He must've gotten the hint since he's now basically ignoring me. Suits me just fine, because he's a creepy horndog. He's divorced, somewhere in his mid-to-late 40s, if not older. I'm nearly 30. I am usually attracted to older men, but he's just so gross. His fingernails are long and he just gives the impression of bad hygiene. His breath stinks too, it smells almost like he drank urine or something. Yuck! Another thing that puts me off him - he's much, much shorter than I am and has a small build. I like my men taller than myself and with a big frame, beer bellies are a bonus.
I've never been on a date but I'd worry to reject someone whose got some "card" that they can play to guilt me into dating them anyway. This summer I may get asked out by a shy guy I met on a gap year but we didn't meet too many times and when we did he was nervous. According to my nana and mutual friend he likes me. If he asked me out this summer when I'm back over there, I might just say yes. I don't know him too well but if he asks, he pays (I ask, I pay) so might as well. He's a white cis male so given that info there's no "card" for him to play. Even though I know this whole "card" thing is stupid and very manipulative it won't stop me from having anxiety over it.
Lol I almost did. There was this one guy in high school who had a crush on me for about 2 whole years and he was really determined to go out with me. I didn't like him other than as a friend but I thought I'd give him a chance and go on one date, I thought "Idk maybe I'm bi and just don't know it" I was really nervous and when he asked me on a date, I felt too nervous to say no!! But he didn't give me his number and I don't have any social media so I had basically no way of contacting him and working something out? Like he asked me on a Friday to go out on the Saturday of that week but didn't give me a time, place or any contact info. You can't just say "Let's go on a date" and not have anything planned! (Or at least, when I ask I always have a suggestion of what we could do ) Then the next Monday, he put the blame on me and accused me of standing him up He didn't ask me again after that. It's probably for the best because I was starting to panic like immediately after I was asked. I just thought like wtf did I get myself into, I'm not into to this guy Plus, as Ruby Dragon put it, he was also a creepy horndog lol. He started acting kind of inappropriate with me and we weren't friends after that...
