Have you ever felt suicidal?

i have tryed a couple times... the thing i hate most is the scars it leaves =/
but i mean im trying to work on it. its easier to give up but im starting to figure out that im above that. i just wish i could get out of my funks faster and have them less often.

 

I've felt suicidal practically every day for the last 10 years at least. I would never do it. It might end my suffering, but it would actually make things much harder for the people around me. Besides, I've lived with this feeling for so long that I can just endure it. Sometimes when it gets really bad, it's almost unbearable but I just remember that the worst will eventually pass and it helps.

 

I have but I don't think I would ever do it, I think that it would be selfish, what about those around me that love me, even though dying seems easier than living. But I have my entire life ahead of me and taking deep breaths and jotting stuff down in my journal usually helps when I have the "tough" days.

 

I've sometimes wondered what it would be like and whether or not it would be worth it, this is mainly when things get really really bad at home. But I never would pain and death terrify me too much. Ironically the only thing that terrifies me more then death is being in so much physical pain you want to die but can't.

Reading back over that I sound really morbid - I'm really not or at least i don't think so.

 

I think that when you're trully suicidal, you'll feel like it wouln't matter to you who would be devastated or who would be affected, it's more of a last resort option that people feel they have but it's more of a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

was thinking about it on my last year of highschool; felt like i had no right to live and that every one who isn't gay/bi is perfect in every thing but in 2008 i learned how to accept my self ,,,but currently i still think about it because of my surrounding *Mom dad friends etc..
all are homophobics and guess what i never meet any open gay arab in my town could you believe that !!

 

i have had thoughts about death, but I have never seriously considered ending my life. There is SOOOO much that I still want to experience and accomplish, that I could never do that.

these thoughts have only recently occurred to me and as you can imagine i was understandably freaked out by them. thoughts like jumping off of balconies. i got a bit worried by them so i talked to my therapist about it and he said something that really made me feel more comfortable with it. he told me that thoughts like that are quite common and don't necessarily reflect a want to end your life or harm yourself. instead (in my case) they probably represented my mind telling me that i wanted to escape a certain situation that was keeping me down. it made a whole lot of sense to me and now i am kind of armed to deal with them if they pop into my head again! i can now recognise what my sub-conscious is telling me and actively change my situation.

i hope that insight helps other people like it has helped me

 

A definite yeah! Answer for me seems to be increasing my self-awareness and achieving personal acceptance of exactly who I am. Also found yoga meditation has been a 'means to an end'.

 

i had thought about that but i love myself too much to kill me.

 

Maybe a couple of times in high school, but I'm sure everyone feels that way in high school.

 

Greetings all, in answer to the question yes I have thought and yes I have followed through , without success as I'm typing this . For a large amount of my life I have always had such thoughts often just fleeting , other times more intense but I usually get through them. On the three occasions that I did more than think it was more spontaneous .With myself certain things trigger a response which I call a" what the hell moment" at those times my normal brakes on such feelings as the effect on others ,or self harming do not work, and whilst I'm in that state of mind there is nothing going to stop me.
I have been told I have the constitution of an ox ,since my liver should have failed on at least two attempts , but it recovered, despite throwing up my blood tests showed that there should of been serious damage,but here I am plodding on. in case your wondering I O.D. on painkillers , cut myself (superficial ) and tried to gas myself in my car, however someone stopped in the country lane where I was parked, saw the hose , smashed the door and windows ,called the police and ambulance and left.
I ended up in hospital.I'm not proud of what I did but that is as much a part of me as being gay, or blue eyed or as in my youth ginger haired.To cap it all my car was so damaged it was written off by the insurance comp so I am hundreds of £'s worse off ,and i have to buy another car to be able to get to work,so you can see actions have repercussions you may not expect,but then I did not expect to be here anyway.
What I am trying to say is that yes, thinking about others , possibly the future that you will miss, will to a degree help a person to carry on, but when they get to a stage of what future is it worth it ,well that's another ball game. In my case I find after failing I gain the strength to fight another day.but I expect in years to come I may be here again ,but you folks here are a great help so Thanks (&&&)
Well that's just my view anyway. Take care I hope this answers some of your questions.
Just Remember DEAD is DEAD there is NO way back you will never know the pain you leave behind for your friends, nor what they say about you at your funeral.:smilewave

 

i like what you said, but more importantly i love your avatar....scrubs is awesome. to the topic. I have definitely felt suicidal. that is a big reason why i have not moved out on my own and have always had roomates, because i feel if they dont distract me then i would think more about it and go through with it. death scares the hell out of me, but not as much as the pain i feel wanting me to die. I dont think i would ever do it because i wouldny want to put my loved ones through it, but it definitely has crossed my mind. I am debating getting a therapist, but for now i think this website might help a bit

 

All the time

 

I too have thought about it. But I think its more the ideology side. Not the act of killing myself, but how much easier it would be if i were just dead. I deal with suicidal people a lot through my job. Most of which is ultimately for attention and cries for help. A lot of people don't seek the help they need themselves. By getting caught trying is a sure way to get the help they need. The people who are truly serious about it are the DOA calls. Its more than just a cry for help.

I remember this quote from my friend when we lost someone to suicide last year. During a conversation where a few people were trying to figure out why, she said: "I don't ever want to understand. I don't ever want to be in that dark and lonely of a place".

I know a lot of us here at least think about it. It seems to be quite common because we are suppressing such a huge part of our lives. Or are so confused by everything, we don't know what to do. But even on my darkest day where all I wanted to do is die (and i can remember the exact day), I made it through to see another day. And many more after that.

I don't pitty the drug addict that dies with the needle still in his arm. My heart pours to the one who did nothing wrong and just needed someone to talk to but felt like there was nowhere to turn in the world and ended it at that. Before the pills are popped, the trigger is pulled, or the plunge with the rope is taken; give a fresh new day one more chance. You deserve that. You are not alone. (*hug*)

 

I have attempted. But I do agree with courtney.

 

About five years ago, I actually had the gun loaded and was on my way to the basement bathroom at my parents' house to blow my head off. The only thing that stopped me was a brief moment of lucidity as I stepped over my dog (who was sleeping in the hallway). In that brief moment, I suddenly realized what I was actually about to do and the aftermath of it, and that imagery was sufficiently strong to jolt me and get me to unload the gun.

Having been there myself, this quote and the sentiment expressed make PERFECT sense. I would assert that anyone who's been there truly has been to the other side of hell and back and never wants to see it or have anything to do with it ever again.

 

the only times ive ever wanted to really harm myself was when i first knew i was gay.
i feared everyone was going to hate me and that i was going to hell.
i became very depressed for about 6 months. lost friends. it was bad.
then i came out and idk every thing got better once i saw not everyone was going to hate me

 

Yes, I have. And far too much.
Whenever I feel like that now, I just have to remember how much it would hurt everyone; that's really the only thing that kept me alive.

 

I was suicidal for most of middle school and the early part of high school. Then I really starting accepting myself, and since I've transitioned I'm a lot happier.
I never attempted suicide, but I've gotten dangerously close.

 

I will admit, I try rather often.

I also have other... behaviors... cutting being one of them, I have a long history of suicide attempts, suicidal behavior, and a lot more bad stuff.

I feel like dying a lot, as if it's the only way out of what I'm feeling, which is pain basically all the time.
It's hard to explain, but I don't know what else to say about it. It's a horrible feeling, but yeah, I've felt suicidal.