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Gross Hookup.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by kingK, Aug 21, 2016.

  1. kingK

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    Ew okay. I wasn't sure where to put this so if it's incorrectly placed then please move it. ANYWAYS. I'm so grossed out right now. I've taken part in casual sex one time in my life. But it was with someone I knew. A genuine friend from highschool. I've been on the dating app and have talked to guys but have never went completely through with it. That's usually because I feel a little grossed out with myself afterwards. Like something doesn't feel right inside of me. Not saying there's anything wrong with hooking up. People who do it shouldn't be looked down upon whatsoever. For some people it's fun and worry free. But tonight for me was the slap of realization I needed that hookups just aren't for me. At least with random strangers that I don't even know. Then again right now I'm so genuinely disgusted with the idea of sex in general.

    I chatted him up for a little bit. He was a curious guy and wanted to try something out because he'd never been with a guy before. I said sure. He sent me a picture. He was decent looking like 6/10. I agreed to meet up with him right away. We did it by some park. And in the beginning I was kind of turned on? Like maybe the idea of it. I had to sneak out and he drove me away. That whole risk was exciting. As we started having sex, things just got progessively more unappealing. We were both experienced don't get me wrong. We both knew what we were doing. But it was just straight up nasty. He tasted like Nicotine for one. You could tell he smoked recently. His d**ck was uncircumcised. (no hate to anyone who's not cut I just don't like it). And three in person you could totally tell he was a bummy type of guy who kind of just liked to sit around. Immediately when I got in all he talked about was weed and alcohol. That was a turn off for sure. And just everything about it. It wasn't hot. In the middle of it I was just waiting for it to be over already. And that's bad...youshouldn't be thinking that in the middle of sex. It ended up being super rushed. Like it wasn't 20 minutes at the most. I even fake orgasmed. And I feel really guilty about that.

    Just everything about him was grossing me out so bad. And I feel bad because he was so kind and paitent. He seemed like a totally relaxed guy. I thought that regardless of who he was, it'd still be fun. But it was terrible. If anything this was a total learning experience for me. Get to know a guy and actually like him before doing anything. When people tell you sex is better with someone you love. It's true. It's so so true. Some people just like to have fun. It doesn't matter who you are. With me that wasn't the case. This will definitely go down as one of my bigger regrets. Lol. But I'm not too upset about it. I'm just grossed out with myself. I'm glad I know now that this is something I don't enjoy. I'll probably be staying away from hooking up for a very long time now.

    Now I know how stupid I am. I really do. I'm highly aware of what a dumbthing this was and how a big a piece of shit I am. Maybe I'm not mature enough to handle a hookup. But this was just...ew. I was probably pretty ew too, it being 1 in the morning and I come out in a T-Shirt and basketball shorts. But I am a teenager. I'm gonna stupd things and I'm gonna learn from them. I'm glad I was able to find positives in the situation rather than beating myself up for giving into my need for sex. Aghhhh. But anyways, does anyone wanna share some wisdom? Bash me for me dumb teenage angst? Share a similar experience? I'm open to all.

    Thanks friends! Hopefully yall dont judge me too hard (-:
     
    #1 kingK, Aug 21, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2016
  2. Rachelmk

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    Here, maybe my embarrassing story might help out a little:

    I lost my virginity to my girlfriend at 16 years old. She was gentle and kind and the whole thing was inexperienced and a little awkward, but overall I felt good about the experience, as I trusted and cared about her. That's not the embarrassing part. It happened in her car, parked in a little forest-y alcove behind a McDonald's (I know, crusty right?). We left the car running because it was hot as hell in the summer time, and we wanted the air conditioning.

    Well, we finished the whole ordeal and were cuddling naked in the backseat when we saw headlights behind us. We turn around; it's a police cruiser. And the cop is walking towards us.

    There was a lot of cursing between the two of us as we struggled to find our clothes on the floor of the car. This ended up with her wearing my t-shirt inside out and backwards and me wearing her bra, both of us in jean shorts. The cop came and knocked on the front window. We sheepishly rolled down the back window and he shined the flashlight in and said, incredibly nonplussed, "...oh."

    He asked us for ID so he could make sure neither of us was wanted, and mercilessly told us we could go on our way, with the parting words of, "You know, I wouldn't even have seen you guys if you'd turned the headlights off." Incredibly embarrassed, we thanked our lucky stars we weren't arrested for public indecency and turned off our headlights out of humiliation.

    The kicker? We got pulled over on the way back to my house because we forgot to turn the headlights back on.

    It was a fun night.

    It was terribly embarrassing at the time; however, two years later, it's now my favorite party story (with my girlfriend's permission to tell it, of course.). I don't judge you at all for your experience; hook-ups are not everyone's thing. So you might feel disgusted and gross right now, but you might find with time that the shame in the memory will fade and become a story to share with your close friends as a way to comfort them when they have an embarrassing experience.

    I hope my story at least made you giggle, and I hope you feel better soon. :slight_smile:
     
  3. AKTodd

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    It seems to me you're beating yourself up and judging yourself way more than anyone on EC is likely to be inclined to. You mention not looking down on people who do hookups, but then say you are disgusted with yourself for doing one and put yourself down repeatedly in your post. Stop that.

    You've learned that hookups (at least at this level of fast-n-loose NSA) are not your thing. You didn't do anything wrong, nor did you hurt anyone. Lesson learned and move on.

    My first time with a guy was in a locker room toilet stall. Never bothered sharing names. My second time with a guy was at his house after I got his number off the wall of a bathroom stall. Got his name, but didn't bother remembering it. Both times I enjoyed myself and no regrets at all, although it more or less worked out that I did more serial monogamous relationships than hookups in my life.

    Everyone's different and that's Ok.:thumbsup:

    Todd

    P.S.: If you get the urge to do something like this again, my advice would be to masturbate first and then see if you still think it's a good idea when you're not horny. Odds are you won't and you will have avoided the negative feelings you are experiencing now.
     
  4. CharacterStudy

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    Hey it's okay to make mistakes. I'm in my thirties and I'm still learning things about myself. Look at the positives - you've learnt that this set up is probably not for you.

    Two points that slightly concern me:
    1. You were alone with a guy you didn't know in a park in the middle of the night? If he'd not been a nice guy you could have been in big trouble. I know this situation happens, and it can be part of the scene, but it's not particularly safe. Better to meet people in public until you get to know them. I've got kids, I'd be terrified if I learnt they were doing this. Not disgusted. Terrified, for their safety.
    2. You spoke to him a bit, got to see the type of guy he was, and it sounds like you weren't too into the idea of sex, but you went ahead anyway. Why did you do that? Did you feel you had to, like it was a done deal? I'm a bit worried if you feel you can't back down from something like this, either because you feel psychological or 'but we agreed' pressure to continue, or because you felt unsafe backing out given the circumstances.
     
  5. CameOutSwinging

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    Definitely no judgment at all. It's an experience you had, and it taught you a few lessons about yourself and what you're looking for. In that way, it is actually a really positive event overall.

    Honestly, it sounds to me less like you're disgusted by hookups and more that this guy just wasn't the guy you were looking for. Yes, maybe talking to him longer and getting to know him more first would have been good. If he had been somebody better put together physically, with interests and hobbies that sounded appealing to you, and circumcised (I am very much with you on not liking uncircumcised, and I feel shallow thinking that way when I'm trying to date a guy, but it is just a personal preference and I'm working on owning it) then you might have overall had a really enjoyable experience.

    I've done more hookups than I can count. I'm trying to really not just do the hookup thing anymore. I've hooked up with guys who were totally not my type, and the one thing I can say is I'm in a place where I'll probably never do that again just for the sake of sex.
     
  6. SpaceOddity

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    Sorry but you sound like a tool. You put yourself in that situation, all of this is your own doing and your judging him for things that either are natural (like being uncircumsized..heaven forbid a penis be intact!!!!) and his way of life. You weren't coaxed into anything, you did this to yourself. Live and learn and maybe next time try not to be such a judgemental, inconsiderate person.
     
  7. SHIELDAgentAlex

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    So…he's a tool for having a preference when it comes to appearance, not wanting his partner to taste of nicotine, and wanting to talk about something besides alcohol and weed?

    KingK, at least you learned something from this experience.

    " I'm highly aware of what a dumbthing this was and how a big a piece of shit I am."

    Listen here, motherfucker. While the decision wasn't the best, you learned from it, and there wasn't any harm done. You are not a piece of shit, and don't you ever let anybody tell you you are.