So in my earlier thread I wrote about the grief for what might have been, the things that I missed out. (And thanks everyone for the great comments on that thread!) But that got me thinking about the usual definition of grief, about things you had that you've lost, in this case by coming out. I couldn't think of anything that I'm grieving about. My status as straight guy/ husband -- yeah I'm losing that but I don't know that that's something to grieve My marriage -- Well that's been pretty much done for the past 15 years with a few minor upticks. Overall though I'm not grieving it but wishing I'd ended it much earlier. My relationship with wife -- 30 years, some really good ones. But she's telling friends the whole 30 years was a sham... which is not how I feel. Anyway the relationship is changing, what we had before wasn't authentic or real. so no grief on that point either. Security of being with someone into old age -- hmm, I've been thinking a lot and the thing that got me out in the first place was realizing there's no way I could go on like this for 20 more years. I know I may end up alone but it's well worth it for me. So not really any grief there. Sorry if I'm sounding bitter or anything but I don't feel like I have much to grieve. Maybe I did that long ago, so the acceptance piece is where I'm at now and very happy about it.
Hi, I too have known this is coming for many years. If there hadn't been children it would have ended long ago. I am really calm about this. Emotionally speaking I have had lots of time to settle this.
Yeah, exactly. Which is probably why I'm ready to jump into the rest of my life! Even had a date this week! My wife doesn't ask but I'm sure thinks I should wait, but wait for what? Just like you, this is settled for me for a while now.
