Does anyone out there object to being called "a gay"? When some people (usually uneducated straight people) refer to a person who is or might be gay then they ask, "Hey, isn't he a gay?", or say "I think he's a gay". I kind of object to being called "a gay" because that targets me as being gay without that person really knowing if I am or not. If I choose to tell you that I'm gay, then I will say it, but please don't refer to me or others who may or may not be gay as "a gay" if you don't really know for sure. It's too derogatory, much like if someone were to say, "He's a queer", or "She's a dyke". In the immortal words of Mrs. Slocombe in "Are You Being Served?": "How ignominious! And I am unanimous in that!"
How does "he's a bisexual" sound to you? Or "she's a lesbian"? It doesn't sound as bad right? To be honest, to me it's just the fact that some words just don't sound right when the letter "a" is placed before it. I don't get offended by it, because in my opinion, it's nothing so big to get offended by. But, I'm not gay, and we're all different, so I can't speak for everyone.
Cider, I'm not totally offended, I just think it sounds too objective, like you're the target of being gay or bisexual or lesbian without proper verification. You hear this all too often, especially with all the new rules surrounding equal marriage, usually in one-sided comments.
The best thing is to simply ask a person what terms they prefer or object to, as it isn't the same for everyone/
I was always taught in school to use adjectives instead of labels when referring to people. For example "black people" instead of "blacks", and that forgetting to do so has a way of dehumanizing people.
Advice for straights? You are incapable of becoming gay. It is an aristocracy. You have to be born into it. We are also very much superior, and you ought to provide gifts as tribute. I need some new linen napkins. Gay men who pursue straight guys are disgusting. Report them immediately to the nearest loud-mouthed know-it-all gay male acquaintance. It is your civic duty. Do not try to out-drink a gay man. It is actually dangerous. If you had to deal with the aggravating heterosexual morons we did, not to mention demented, sociopathic boyfriends, then you too would suffer from chronic alcoholism and have a liver hard enough to cut glass.