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Girlfriends both 5'4" and 34DD

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Taragirl, Jul 20, 2019.

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  1. Taragirl

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    Hello:

    Me and my girlfriend are both on our first and only girlfriend as a lesbian couple. We have gotten into a problem, of our own making. We have been teasing and making jokes for months about who has the better breasts, or, the bigger and firmer breasts for some time. Well, the debate has become more heated in the recent past. We have been fighting about it. Really, we have been fighting, and have used our breasts to fight each other. Does this happen often in lesbian couples, or in the lesbian community, and is there a way out of this problem. Since were the same size, we really cannot say one is better than the other.
     
  2. Lin1

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    So you literally both become upset over who has the better body/breasts? That sounds unhealthy on top of the fact that you should always avoid to compare body or body parts with a partner.

    Be the bigger person (no pun intended) and let her have the win. Tell her that she is right and have the better/bigger breast and move on and avoid to compare bodies from now on.

    Your problem isn't a common problem that I know of but it's not uncommon for women to have low self-esteem and comparing oneself to someone we admire or look up to (a partner), isn't uncommon. Your role as her girlfriend is to make her feel good about her body, because I assume you love it, so avoid teasing her about her body, even as a joke, it might all be fun and games at the beginning but like you have noticed, it also often escalate to unhealthy level and can create resentment and self-esteem issues.

    I have been with a few girls who compare bodies and felt I was much skinnier/prettier/sexier than them, and while I might be skinnier sometimes it never mattered, what mattered was that I thought they were the most gorgeous human beings alive and I couldn't care less whether I weighted less or more or was sexier or not and I made sure they knew that every single day. You do not want to compete body-wise with your girlfriend, you want to empower her, tearing each other down helps no one so take a step back from the joke, willingly lose the argument, and make her feel great about her body/breasts because she deserves to feel good about her body and so do you.

    So start commenting on what you like about each other instead of what you feel you do better than the other. There is no winner otherwise, just people arguing about something so subjective as beauty and breast.

    (I don't like big breasts, so in my book there would be no winner, so really it doesn't matter because everyone is different and it's about embracing what you have instead of wanting to come off as the best).
     
  3. Taragirl

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    @Linning

    We have already gone past that. We have already used our breasts to fight each other in open combat. We have done it a few times. Our breasts have made each other sore, painful, and they have been so sore we were in deep pain to place a bra on. Even if I told her you win, she would not accept it. She wants to defeat me now in a fight, or, she will break up with me. I do not want to lose her, but I am confused what I should do.
     
  4. Lin1

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    Tell her this completely ridiculous (because it is!) and honestly if she wants to break up with you over breast, is she even in love with you? they no to the fight and have an honest chat with her, it seems like the joke got out of hand and completely consumed her self esteem!
     
  5. PatrickUK

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    How did you allow yourselves to get into this ridiculous and damaging situation? Fighting and competing over breast size in a supposedly healthy and affirming relationship is crazy and attacking each others breasts in some sort of combat is beyond crazy and makes no sense whatsoever. Think of the damage you could be doing to each other on both a physical and emotional level. What began as teasing (something we need to be very careful of in a relationship anyway) has now escalated into this extraordinary situation that you seem unable to step back from.

    If you are both unable to call this argument off, you may need to think about calling off the entire relationship to stop the rot.

    Sorry to be so blunt, but it needs to be said.
     
  6. DirectionNorth

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    Thank you for saying that, it is ludicrous and the joke got waaaaay out of hand. That fighting needs to just stop, and if neither of you can let it go, i second what the two above had said.
     
  7. Taragirl

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    We both have low self esteem about our breasts. Gotten to a point I really cannot say you win. The contests ends in draws, and leaves us very sore. Strange, it is making our relationship stronger for some reason, as we are getting more dependent on each other. Since were the same size, I do not see were a clear winner can happen.
     
  8. Lin1

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    Okay, I am sorry and I might get another warning for saying this but this is crazy like utterly utterly crazy. The two of you, you need to take a deep breath and a step back.

    There is no winner in the situation you describe you are both bringing each other down and hurting each other trying to make the other feel bad about her body just so you can feel more confident about your own body. This is extremely toxic and NOT AT ALL healthy. This is crazy.

    Stop feeding her insecurities and yours and work together to empower each other and improve your self esteem independently of each other and your breasts.
     
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  9. Taragirl

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    So you do not see a winner because were both 34DD. If it was between us, would there be a winner?
     
  10. DirectionNorth

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    I see this whole thing as ridiculous, especially when you're not listening to what everyone else is saying. This is childish, immature, toxic, and not how any adults behave! If it started out as a joke or tease, it's clearly run its course a while ago, you and both of you need to move on from that, this is pure craziness and not in any fun or joking manner, let it drop! It's not about winner or loser, it's about this is craziness at this point and just needs to stop
     
    #10 DirectionNorth, Jul 21, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2019
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  11. PatrickUK

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    You may not realise it, but this isn't about who has the bigger or smaller breasts now. It's gone way beyond that and says more about the nature of your personalities and relationship.

    As it stands you are going round in circles. You have received some good feedback now from various members and nobody is telling you this is a good idea or even worth pursuing. Step back, realise what's going on and break away from this craziness before you do more damage to each other.
     
  12. HM03

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    Unless it's a mutually okay fetish or a complete accident, physical violence in a relationship should be seen as "stop or leave" imho
     
  13. jenne

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    oh god that's so "straight" acting
    Lesbians never compare with each other because we LOVE women
    We are never competitive on who is better especially with our partner
    This is ridiculous
     
  14. DecentOne

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    Do you have a domestic violence center near you? If so, please contact them.
     
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