I feel like it's inevitable that I need to eventually really come out to my dad. My dad is completely homophobic and has no idea I've had feelings for girls, my mom has trouble accepting it saying maybe I should try to give guys more of a chance, and my brother seems to be a bit more accepting of it showing me pictures of girls he thinks are cute. My friends kinda think I obsess over people and really need to try making moves and acceptance on being gay. I myself am utterly confused by my sexuality and who I'm supposed to be with. For a long time I thought I was bisexual but then I'm having trouble seeing myself sexually with a guy. When I tried to explain to my mom about my feelings for a girl in college. She told me I was vulnerable and taken advantage of and looking for a friend. At the time, I was still processing everything so I sort of believed her until I developed feelings for another girl. I know I've never been completely gay and got crushes on guys in middle school because I thought they were physically cute. So in terms of defining who I am and how I feel, I have limited experience in dating and do not have any pragmatic evidence which:icon_sad: backs up how I feel. I guess what I'm asking for is advice and help because I'm completely scared how my dad might react. My mom thinks I'm "choosing" to date women and I keep a lot of my crushes for people locked up tight. She tells me that I wouldn't have much of a chance of having a relationship with my dad if I told him. How did you come out to your family, what can I do that's subtle but not dramatic? :help: :icon_sad:
Hello eburian Let me start off by saying wow I was on the same foot. Except vice versa. My parents where not so much happy for the gay me. So I stayed low for a little bit and once I came out to my brorther I had breathing room. Coming out to your father depends on your trust in him. If you know he wouldn't be so excepting of you then take it slowly. When you do though have your brother with you as your backup. That's what I did. Best of luck -Dex
Question for you. Why the sense of urgency? You're right, you'll need to tell your dad at some point. But given how your mum is reacting to it (and I'll say it now, her reaction is CRAP) and you know your dad is going to be worse, why put yourself through it sooner rather than later? Yeah yeah putting it off bad!! Blah blah! But more importantly, where the heck do you turn when the deed is done? Here? We can take the edge off whatever he says or does but I'm not convinced it will cut it! Personally, I would wait until I had a girlfriend. At least then I have someone to give me a hug afterwards.
