Gender stuff (just looking for a little support)

Hope this doesn't come off as super needy..
I don't have many people I can talk to about this kinda stuff anymore though.

So I've been really struggling with a lot of different stuff lately & one of them has been my gender identity & stuff.

I think I'm getting to where I almost have a solid answer for myself but my confidence is basically non-existent, from all the short lived "answers" I've came to before only to change my mind & the stupid way people treat me.

I'm not really looking for advice as much as emotional support.
I'm very depressed & I just wish I got to talk more about this out than I have.

It feels silly to ask for help this far in but I just feel isolated without having someone to tell, who will understand what I'm talking about.


So basically my current conclusion is that both my sex & gender are still male but my gender expression is fluid..
Is "gender expression fluid" a thing yet?
I feel like it should be.
(I mean it's not really a catchy phrase but that's not really the goal, y'know.lol)


Anyways I feel like I'm just plagued by all these little doubts.
I'm afraid that if I tell people I'm male they will keep treating me as masculine-I cant understand why those traits are inseparable in so many people's minds.
Then I'm weirdly afraid of changing my mind about what I am again.
And I feel like people will judge me a lot for wanting to wear women's clothes sometimes.

I mean "tomboy"s get to wear guy clothes, I figure its the same thing,right?

Are there any nice terms for a guy like me, who enjoys behaving effeminately & looking a bit girly?
I've heard a few but they are all either insults or sound mildly inappropriate for polite company,y'know? )=

 

Aww..first of all thank you both so much.<3

Thank you, that was pretty much exactly what I needed to hear!
It really helps to be around accepting people who understand what I'm talking about.

It still surprises me how many people act like I'm speaking in riddles.

It did help actually, although it kinda raises some questions for me.
I briefly thought I could androgynous before but I kinda dismissed it & now that I hear you saying it I'm not sure if it means what I thought it did.

I always thought of androgynous as kinda riding a fine line between genders, am I wrong?
Cuz I mean...Sometime I like that idea but I was leaning twards "fluid" or whatever cuz sometimes I want to dress fully as one gender or the other,too....not always but definitely sometimes.

Well, tbh - right now I can't really,anyways.
I think I forgot to mention that?
I'm tight on money & live with family I'm not out to,ect.

The closest I've gotten to cross-dressing as an adult is like tying shirts around my chest in front of the mirror & pretending it's a strapless dress. :icon_redf

But it just makes me happy to think about looking that way sometimes.

But then I have moments when I feel like a male again...I honestly almost never feel "guy-ish" though.

It's almost always some kind of feminine, in some fashion.
I kinda ping pong between being a slightly femmy-guy to an almost girl then sometime I just want look more stereotypically gay?
Well...for lack of a better word anyways..."gay" doesn't really mean much in terms of presentation anymore...I'd post pictures of what I mean but I wasn't clear on the rules for posting links & stuff like that here. =/

Well..I guess it's something else for me to consider at any rate.

Thank you for sharing so much with me!
I do feel a little less down.
I hope your transition is going well. =)