Hi! I am currently composing the rough draft of my coming out letter to my mom, and a question popped up: Is not wanting the weight of certain gender roles placed on you a valid reason to be trans? The reason I ask this is because I partially feel I want to be male due to the weight of stereotypical female gender roles on my shoulders, and I don't want them anymore. Can this be considered a valid reason to be trans?
Eh, yes and no. On one hand, sure, gender roles suck and wanted to escape them is totally valid. On the other, if that's the only reason you are thinking you're trans you might be better off just trying to fight gender roles, because frankly the stereotypes and discrimination against trans people is probably harsher than any sort of gender roles. tldr: Yeah, it can be a factor, but no, it shouldn't be the only reason.
Hi! The gender roles side of things is really only a small part of why I believe I am trans, but I just wanted to see if it was something that I should include in my letter or just leave out. But no. It is not the only reason.
I agree. Yes and no. While your escaping one set of gender role/ sterotypes, your enter another set of them on the male side. Both sides have expected gender roles: things that they should and shouldn't do. Ways they should act, things they should like. I realized that as a girl I was 'strong' and 'masculine' As a guy (so far being pre harmones) I'm seen as 'meek' and 'feminate' I wouldn't use that in your letter unless you feel you have been singled out excessively for being female and even than I'd be carful on how you phrase it. You don't want to give people the chance and ammo to un-validate your choices on being male.
I think it can be a valid reason, but... I would focus on the other factors, and probably wouldn't mention gender roles if I could avoid it. When I came out to my mom I specifically told her it had nothing to do with gender roles, because that was almost her first thought... "You're just doing this because it's too hard to be a masculine girl, you think it'd be easier being a guy." I don't know your mom, she may not jump to that conclusion at all, but it seems to be a somewhat common thought process.
I'm not in the habit of telling people whether their gender identities are valid. You're as trans as you want to be.
I think it's better to leave it out. While escaping gender roles can be a way you benefit from being trans, it shouldn't be a reason that you are trans. Given that you have other reasons to ID as trans, I would explain those and leave the gender roles out of it.
Bleh. I hate gender roles. It's really awful to feel pressured and uncomfortable because you happen to be born the gender that supposedly shouldn't act like you want to. I remember when I was like 6 my biological dad used to make fun of me because I had an easy bake oven that I played with a lot. Gender roles are stupid and pointless and I hate them. That's not necessarily a reason to be trans, though. If you don't like your biological gender's place in society and you happen to be trans, there's nothing wrong with that. I kinda wish I was born a girl sometimes, just because I hate the fact that I can be criticized for being feminine. I'm still cis, though. I just don't like what society pressures males to be.