I'm currently questioning my gender identity. I'm FAAB. As far as I can remember, I've never felt strongly as female or male, but just sort of went with it and called myself a girl because it was convenient and I didn't really know any better. My mother never let me dress the way I wanted as a kid, she'd say it was tacky and that other parents would talk. Being able to pick out my clothes more was a huge thing for me when I turned 12, because I could finally wear clothes from any damn department I wanted. Usually included boys and girls. I'm 17 now. I like suits and a bit of make-up on the side, haha. A few years ago, I realized that if I had the choice, I'd probably rather have a penis, but I don't have any intense displeasure with having a vagina. I don't hate it, usually. I'm comfortable with my other feminine and masculine traits, though I honestly have a hard time thinking of them as "feminine" and "masculine"... they're just my traits. I feel like my identity as a woman is more habit than actual identity, whereas I feel so much better calling myself "gender neutral." I'd go as far as to say that I feel relief when I call myself gender neutral. But does this sound right? I mean, I don't want to just be some annoying wannabe transperson, I certainly don't want people to think I'm making a mockery of their emotional and mental pain. Of course, I know, I'm the person who knows me best. :/ Advice?
Calling yourself gender neutral is absolutely ok! There is nothing wrong with how you feel. Why should you not be allowed to act and dress the way you want? You're not hurting anyone. I don't think anyone should be forced to dress a certain way just because society has a problem with what you see fit. It makes you feel comfortable, and this world is too damn corrupt to not be allowed to feel comfortable with yourself. You may have what I call, "Ken Doll Body Preference", which is wanting to look more masculine than feminine, but still not being masculine enough to be a specific gender. But you said you'd probably rather have a penis than a vagina, so maybe not. Do you think you might be gender fluid? Like feel more feminine one day, and masculine another day? I think it's awesome because it allows someone to switch up depending on the mood they're in.
