Gender dysphoria and binding.

What is it that makes you think you could be genderqueer?

For binding, the absolute safest way is with a binder from somewhere such as Underworks or GC2B. There are free binder give-away programs that run as well, but I'm not sure which ones are active right now nor which would be appropriate for your situation, so google would be a good bet there. If you can't get a binder in any way, then wearing two sports bras - one normally, one backwards - can help level out your chest. Make sure you don't bind for more than 8-10 hours a day. If it starts to hurt (more than a slight ache) then take off what you're binding with immediately and don't bind again until the pain is completely gone - if this keeps happening, it's likely you're binding too tight or too long and you should try to change that as soon as you can. If you notice bruising, get shooting pains when you're not binding, or have pain that lasts longer than a day, see a doctor ASAP. NEVER use ace bandages or tape, it is incredibly dangerous and can cause permanent rib damage within a couple of hours.

 

Like SystemGlitch said, binding is best done with an actual binder--and not a bandeau type. Also, if you search for a binder on Amazon, "Les Lesbian" something will come up--don't buy those. They're not flexible like gc2b and Underworks, they will likely make it hard for you to breathe.

Buy from gc2b or Underworks. I've never used gc2b, but I have an underworks binder that works well. I've heard mixed things about T-Kingdom and LesLoveBoat, so I probably wouldn't risk it.

Black Underworks binders tend to be stretchier than white ones. If you have back problems, it's better to wear one that covers your entire abdomen rather than one that stops at the bottom of your ribs.

I have one white binder of each length, and I've found that half binders look better with certain shirts: the longer one sometimes goes over the top of my shorts and makes my hips look bigger, and it makes me dysphoric. Also, if I tuck it into my shorts it always recedes and gets crumpled around the bottom, which looks a little weird through my shirt.

As far as gc2b vs. Underworks, gc2b binders are more comfortable, but Underworks binders tend to bind flatter. It's personal preference. Also, if it has any bearing gc2b was created specifically for transgender people and Underworks was created for men with gynocomastia.

If you want to make a binder, there are several different methods. My favorite way is to make one out of pantyhose. You can also wear a slightly-tight sports bra, and sports bra (regularly) and a second one on backwards, a regular/slightly-small one with a larger one over it, or a normal/slightly-small one with a super tight shirt over it under your regular shirt. There's also camisole binders.

I'd also recommend wearing two shirts if it's not too hot, so the outline of the binder doesn't show through your shirt and to help hide your chest if your binder doesn't get your completely flat (it probably won't, I'm not even an A-cup and I'm not even completely flat through my binder--I am under two shirts, though).

Follow all the safety rules SystemGlitch said, except when you first start you might need to wear it less than 8 hours to get accustomed to it. I didn't, because mine was pretty loose, but some people do need to. Also, 10 hours might be a bit too much, depending on your individual situation. I used to wear my binder 14+ hours a day, and exercise in it (don't do anything vigorous in a binder) and now I have back pain all the time. Don't do it. If you do get injured, stop wearing it.

These are good resources: Hudson's FTM Guide, Gendercube, (not only for binding, but for everything, he's great).

 

Being comfortable with pronouns doesn't necessarily indicate that you are genderqueer. Many cis people won't care that much about the wrong pronouns being used - some may feel uncomfortable with it, but others are more ambivalent to it. For trans people it's important because the pronouns for their assigned gender are used consistantly and are a reminder to the person that their assigned gender is wrong, and it is also a cause of hurt since the pronouns for their assigned gender may be used purposefully to invalidate them. Cis people generally don't have to worry about this (though cis men are more likely to be bothered by it) so the idea of being called the wrong pronouns isn't as important.

Gender expression (being feminine, short haircut, etc.) is also not a great indicator of being trans. It's only reliable if a child is insisting they should play/dress a certain way because of their gender, or if a person deliberately changes their gender expression in order to be recognised as their gender identity.

I don't really have any knowledge about names and how cis/trans people feel about them in general. I was uncomfortable with my birth name for a very long time, mostly because I had been bullied about it. I desperately wanted to use my middle name. Looking back, I don't know if it's because my middle name could be shortened and the shortened version was gender-neutral, or if it's just because it'd be hella hard to use it to bully me. I started to hate my name vehementantly after I realised I was trans because my dysphoria skyrocketed.

If you don't experience dysphoria of any kind, it's unlikely that you are trans, and more likely that you don't conform to gender roles. You mentioned that you don't like your chest - do you know why this is?

I'd recommend asking yourself these questions:
- Do you feel discomfort about your body due to its female characteristics - does it make you upset, angry, or feel like something isn't "right"?
- Do you feel discomfort about being perceived as female by society and treated as female - does it make you upset, angry, or feel like something isn't "right"?
- Do you think that you would feel more comfortable with your body if it was gender-neutral (equal mix of feminine and masculine characteristics and/or equal mix of genitalia/no genitalia) - do you think you would be happier or feel more "correct"?
- Do you think you would feel more comfortable in your day-to-day life if you were perceived as gender-neutral and treated as gender-neutral - do you think you would be happier or feel more "correct"?

 

Are you okay with being biologically male in a dress, and do you want to be seen as a male even in a dress or do you want to be biologically/socially female sometimes? For myself, I make sense of my gender by thinking of how I want to be biologically and socially as dictated by my dysphoria, I don't know how you like to think about it.

 

Do you have any social dysphoria? Have you ever presented as male? I'd recommend going on some online form and telling people you're male to see how it feels to be treated as one, or using a male character in an online game or something like that.