gaydar, clues, tips, secret codes...

I’m also a bisexual woman, and have been married to my husband for 9 years. One person knows about my true sexuality, and we don’t even speak anymore. I would seriously do anything to have that touch with a woman, but have never had the chance.

 

Usually I spot other femmes by their gaze and the energy they send out, I don't know I just feel queer women have a different kind of energy so I don't need rainbow bracelet or pins to figure out who they are.

I can usually tell by just their body language and how they act, like queer women will look at other women a lot more than straight women and in a very different way, they will barely acknowledge the men entering the bar but will look a little longer than a straight woman would at a beautiful woman walking past them. I don't know I just feel like there are tons of micro-signals and looks (gaze) that makes it more visible/acknowledgeable. I do enjoy figuring out who is queer and who isn't so definitely enjoy observing people.


The best way to know who is what is to be vocally open about your sexuality though or even just bring up LGBTQ+ related topics and observe the different reaction (the most queer might not be the most vocal about it) .

 

I don't know about girls, but with young guys many of them advertise it with dyed hair or jewelry. Bright colored obviously not natural hair or a lot of highlights. For jewelry it's usually multiple bracelets made of string, wooden beads etc. not super obvious but enough to make you suspicious that a straight guy wouldn't be wearing them.

 

No I’ve always hid this part of me. My mom found out that I liked girls really early and made me feel so much shame I’ve been afraid to say anything to anyone. Honestly I typically lean towards women but familial pressure can hit hard. It’s gotten even harder lately dealing with my feelings which is why I joined this site. I really don’t want anything to disrupt my kids lives right now since they are young so I have just been dealing the best I can.

 

Never colored my hair, but the jewelry thing is me to a "T". I probably wear too much jewelry to be considered straight. I own about five or so bracelets of various materials, usually wearing two or three at a time, and switching them out every few days. Also wear a ring on my pinky finger on one hand and another on the ring finger of my other hand. And I wear a silver chain necklace with a cross pendant (due to my Catholic faith). Wanted to get an anklet as well, but I think that might be a little excessive with everything else I wear. Guess you're right.

 

Also, throw in a watch on certain occasions, and I'm a walking jewelry store. Makes me wonder if more people know than I realize?

 

Even if you have nothing in the way of clothing, jewelry, behavior, or speech, a look that is a nanosecond too long and has a certain intensity will give it away. I've been caught, if you want to call it this, more than once. When they're on the same wavelength, it can be good. When they're not, it can make for an uncomfortable situation for all parties.

I think it's eye contact more than anything.

 

I mean, technically you can never tell as people can dress and look as they wish without having a determinant sexuality. BUT, some things I have seen...(and I'm terrible with girls)

• Guys with painted nails. I don't know many straight guys that paint their nails.
• Jewelry and dyed hair like Destin said.
• Certain clothes. One of my friends, who's gay, bought a shirt that is very subtly a pride flag. It's not overly obvious, but could be figured out.

But again, none of this is really guaranteed. I know straight guys who wear necklaces, bracelets, etc. Sometimes for specific things (Relay for Life, for example) straight guys will dye their hair extreme colors. Straight guys will wear skinny jeans and "gay" clothes sometimes. And occasionally guys with girlfriends with be comfortable with their girlfriends painting their nails.

I also personally don't think I "present" as gay, but have had people assume before.

The biggest thing I can think of is who are they looking at? And is that look longer than a casual glance? For example, when I was at the gym yesterday I saw two hot guys working out together and doing squats I kept looking over and was conscious of that fact since there were literally four of us in the whole gym. Someone watching me may have been able to notice something.

 

Something else I've noticed. Not all, but quite a few artsy folks tend to not be straight. Might have something to do with creativity and thinking outside the box.

 

Wow, that really is a lot of jewelry haha. It sounds cool though. My collection is small but growing, a watch on the other wrist might not look bad.

 

Are those the pieces you own/wear? Nice. I like the bracelet.

 

Yea, still trying to find that old silver chain anklet we talked about a while ago too but I have no clue where it ended up.

Considering getting something like this also, I like the wooden bead look. If I could find a good seashell and sand type of one that'd go well with my love of the beach but none of them seem to look good (this jewelry stuff is an addiction man...I see how girls end up with like 20 pairs of earrings now).

 

Yeah, I can't find it either. Been looking on Amazon and Ebay, but no luck so far. I have a small bead bracelet, that came with a set (watch and three bracelets), but it's too small for my wrist and makes dents in my skin. I totally get the addiction. Ever since I started wearing more, I keep looking for new stuff.

 

OP, sorry for going off-track in the thread.