Funny stories about reactions when you've been hit on by the opposite sex

I don't have very funny stories, my stories are a mix of uncomfortable and scary.

Every time I've told a guy who's hitting on me that I'm asexual, he refuses to believe me. Either tells me I'm being unfair to people by deciding this (as if it wouldn't be more unfair to fake feelings I don't feel) or he claims he could cure me of it. I have more luck if I make some excuse like saying I 'don't have time for a relationship right now'.

It might be easier for lesbians, because of greater awareness. I'd try claiming I'm gay, but I hate lying about myself. Maybe I should say I'm 'queer', or 'not straight' and let them come to their own conclusions. Would they assume I'm a lesbian if I did that?

 

There is some guy over in the other hallway in my residence hall. I'm pretty sure that he was the only dude in the building that didn't know my sexuality....

So, some guy burnt popcorn and it set off one smoke alarm. Of course, when things like this happen, people just gravitate to that area to see what is going on (It takes 2 smoke alarms to go off to dump my building). So, I went over there to see if there was anything that I could do to help.

This guy comes over and he's like "I like your shirt" and I responded with "thanks". Well, then he's like "I like your watch" (which was sort of a weird compliment) and once again I said "thanks".

At this point, one of his buddies punches him in the side and whispers something in his ear. I'm pretty sure that he told him that I don't go for guys. Still though, it was pretty awkward..

 

This is actually going on with me right now, and it's been ongoing (only because I'm not out and all I can says is "not interested")

A freshman girl (I'm a sophomore) has basically developed this gigantic crush on me, even though we've never shared a word EVER. Anyways, she's pretty well known by freshman and sophomores, so I've had ton of people tell me I should date her LOL. At first it was cute, then kinda funny, and now it's just irritating cause I'm at my limit of saying not interested! Apparently she found out I was irritated, and apologized multiple times through a friend, although she has never spoken to me directly. I'M GAY YOU GUYS get a hint!!

 

I haven't really been hit on much by any sex, same or opposite. Then again I tend to run around in my own little world so often don't notice (someone else tells me later what was going on) or just sort of respond in a non-committal way and go on my way.

In terms of the latter, I once had a female clerk at Barnes and Noble tell me I should be in an exercise magazine I was buying. I just said 'oh, thanks' and left.

A rather funnier story would probably be the night I went out dancing with friends not too long after moving to Virginia. Most of my friends all worked for the same company at that point and they went with a number of other people from their job who I didn't know. One of these people was the receptionist or office manager or something. She was short, blond, quite pretty, and very...well endowed and curvy in a way that apparently drives straight men to bay at the moon and drag their tongues around on the ground (the more so because she apparently painted her outfit on that night). She was also (I learned later) very much into flirting with every guy in sight even though she was married. That night, I was apparently in sight.

From the point we got to the (straight) club, this woman was in my personal space, flashing cleavage, breathing deeply, etc. And I was totally oblivious. Not only didn't feel anything in response to what she was doing but didn't even notice she was doing it. So she apparently decided to double down.

This continued out on the dance floor. She shook and gyrated everything she had, got VERY close to me, raised her hands over her head and stretched, etc. etc. And I still didn't notice a thing. So she decided to triple down.

The next round on the dance floor was all of the before cranked to 11 and with some dirty dancing/grinding thrown in. Meanwhile, a straight male friend who was also there (and thought she was very hot) was dancing with us and nearly having a heart attack and doing everything he could to try and get her to focus some of this energy in his direction. But apparently I had become something of a challenge. And I STILL wasn't noticing her.

Meanwhile, all of my female friends who were there (and knew I was gay) and watching all this were almost wetting themselves they were laughing so hard.

Apparently at some point after this, one of my friends took pity on her and told her that I was gay and she was wasting her time and there wasn't anything wrong with her. Which I suppose made her feel better.

Later that night they told me all this. My reaction was that they shouldn't have said anything since she kind of deserved it for flirting with other guys as a married woman while her husband was on deployment (which kind of annoyed me).

So, that's about as funny as I've got I'm afraid.

Todd

 

I was at a wedding once and there was this chick that was the grooms daughter was part of the wedding party or something. I noticed she had been staring at me and then turning away quickly every time i would look over. But then the DJ said that the wedding party was going to choose someone to take out on the floor and dance with. She had to choose me. I am not a dancer, i don't have rhythm, I'm basically just a big stiff. I literally just stood there. So humiliating.

It's to bad I'm not straight. I get hit on quite a bit from good looking girls. I think since I'm not out I come off more as a jerk,though. These are good looking girls that have probably never been turned down. I just don't come off as gay at all. So for right now i would rather be seen as a jerk until I've accepted who i am, and can tell that it's not that i'm a jerk, I'm just gay.

I really not as full of myself as that may have sounded.

 

I had a girl come on to me when i was playing football, but i got really mad at her because i knew she wanted Adam the jockish and straight football player. It's too bad that it was a little more complicated then she thought. Ah well she has another bf so shes good.