Funny responses you got when you came out

Back when I was questioning I told a guy friend I might be trans.

Him: Nooo, don't... don't get rid of your boobs!
Me: ok, once they're off, you can have them

 

This happened when I was staying at a friend's house:
Three other guys in the room, only one knows yet.
One guy was making a homo joke, so I said "what are you, bi?"
He responded "Yeah"
I was like "Really? Cool, I'm gay"
:O
"Dude, I was just joking..."
"I wasn't."
"Wait, so do you like anal?"
"Uhh... yes?"
"THAT'S SO COOL! I've always wanted a gay friend!"
"Really?"
"Dude, do you think I'm hot?"
I had a hard time stifling my laugh as I said "decent"
"Thoughts on Justin Bieber?"

What a guy... XD

-E.F.

 

I told my friend I was gay over text message. He replied, "It's about time you confessed it!"

I asked him how he knew and he was like, "Dude, you check out almost every guy that walks past us in the hall."

 

Me: You guys, I have something to tell you (to two of my friends).
Them: OK?
Me: Shit, I don't know how to say this.
Them:...
Me: Let me write it down.
Them: You're making us nervous.
Me: *Hands over note*
Them: ... This is it? We thought you were going to confess to a murder or something!!!

In the same conversation...
One of my friends Em:
Em: You know for some reason you seemed too cool to be straight. But I mean that as a compliment!
Me: ... COOL!

 

my cousin: Tell me your secret!
Me: no!
(Continues for like 5 mins)
Me:lets just say that everyone I like is straight
Him: what does that mean?
Me: Search up LGBT on google...
Him: (reads the content) oh, ok!

 

Well,i told my friend about it,he got angry and for some time we didn't talk. After some days,we came back and he kissed me.

 

When I was trying to find the words to tell my mother...
Me: It would be so much nicer if you would figure this out on your own...
Her: You know, nothing will change if you just say this...
Me: OMG! You DO know! Just say it!!! It would make things SO much easier!
Her: LOL...nope! I'm pretty sure that's not how this process is supposed to work, missy.
Me: Ugh...you always were difficult!

After I finally told her...
Her: You know, it's not like it was a secret. Dad and I have known for quite a while...what took you so long?

 

At tennis lesson today, I told a girl I knew for less than 45 minutes, and it went like this:

Me: I'm gay.
Her: Yeah, my gaydar goes crazy when we talk to each other.
Me: Wow, mine sucks!
Her: I've told, like, three people they were gay before they even knew what gay meant, and I was right every time.
Me: o.0
Her: LETS BE FRIENDS!!!

 

Okay, so, this isn't really coming out. But you have to know that my mom knows i'm some degree of gay, but doesn't know if i'm gay or bisexual. So, to try to prod me into coming out, she starts discussing a gay cousin of hers.
The convo goes something like this:

Mom: Yeah, i had a cousin that way and, you know, he was such a girl.
Me: No, he was a guy.
Mom: No, i mean, he was just one of girls you know. They're always feminine. I wonder what his boyfriend was like... or girlfriend
Me: I thought you just said he was gay
Mom: Well, there's always a guy and girl. But he was probably the girl. I know you'll end up with a butch because your feminine.
Me: *mouth drops open* Mom, being "camp" or whatever doesn't make you any less of a man. And it doesn't always have to be a boy and girl in a relationship!!
*crickets*
I tried to explain that gay men aren't always feminine. And if they are it doesn't mean they are girls.. to say so is offensive to transgender people. And there doesn't have to be a girl and boy in every relationship. To which my mother says "i've never met a gay who wasn't a girl" (meaning girly) with a face that seemed to question my sanity. And my brother's "get of your high horse. Stop being so politically correct"

:bang:
Why, why do I even try?

And, yeah, i know this isn't funny. But I like to pretend it is, so I don't have to process it lol

 

Must...know...what.....happened.....next!

 

^ haha

 

During a conversation with a very close friend of over 20 years he started reminiscing our teen years. He's a great guy but a bit of a hippie:

Him: You were always such a rock and had good values. I'd toss you handfuls of pussy but you'd always turn it down waiting for the right woman...

Me (cutting him off): Actually, truth is, I'm gay.

Him: No way! I mean, dude! That's awesome and shit. Holy shit I can't believe it (he goes on for a while)

Me: Yeah me and (Named a few friends) used to trade blowjobs back in the day

Him: Why didn't you ever suck my dick?! That would have been awesome!

Me: *facepalm*

 

This isn't exactly funny per se, but I found it quite humorous, especially considering the situation.

I was on a camping trip with my class last night, and all of the girls were kipping under one tarp. It was a bit squishy and we were all jammed pretty close together. At this point I was out to the whole class except for one of the girls, V. I was talking to V, who is 14, about this other girl who she is "married" to. Suddenly the girl beside me, M, muttered "she's going to run into problems when she gets older". "Why?" I asked. "Well, girls marrying girls..." "what's wrong with that?" I inquired, feeling a sense of trepidation. "Well, it's just weird, isn't it?" "I'd marry a girl" I admitted, curling up tighter into my sleeping bag. I had the feeling that this may very well not be the best time to come out, seeing as this other girl was highly religious, rather uncomfortable with physical contact regardless of sexuality, and lying very close to me. "Wait... are you gay?" She asked, her voice full of suspicion. That moment. That one moment when she put it together. It was just priceless. I sat up and looked at her "yes, weren't you there when I told everyone?" I asked "I heard something... but I didn't really know what you meant" she admitted. I had told everyone that I was not straight. I have a bad feeling that she did not know what the word "straight" meant. She must have assumed that I can't stand straight or something. *facepalm* Anyhow, I had a rather awkward conversation with M after that, during which I think I convinced her that I am neither a pervert or a freak, and we actually had a nice chat afterwards. I'll always remember her though as the girl who took two weeks to clue in after I told her.

 

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, I AM YOUR MOTHER. YOU DON'T THINK I ALREADY KNEW? WHY DO YOU THINK I BUY YOU RAINBOW THINGS?"

my favorite color as a child was rainbow until they made me "choose one" in kindergarten. i picked purple. i've still always admired multi-colored things and started redecorating my room in rainbow. i also own more rainbow jewelry/clothing than people other than gay hippies should ever have.

 

Haha, amazing! :roflmao:

 

Me too :icon_bigg like where?? on the cheek probably but where?

 

Told my friend at work tonight (she's just returned after an op). She just turned round and said "I knew the first time I met you on my interview...it was something about your aura. You're too polished as well."

Compliments aside, she proceeded to get very loud and excited telling me that she jas to be my fag hag as she's always wanted to be a fag hag before; "Don't you let anyone else be it! I'm your +1 from now on."

Ahh gotta love her. :lol: