Funny responses you got when you came out

My top 3 favorite reactions:

My cousin: "And you're telling me this because you think you haven't made it obvious enough already? Honey, you wear leather fucking jackets. Get with it, everyone knows."

My friend: "Yeah... it's a little awkward that you told me, but I have been wondering, since like sixth grade. Every time I saw you I would think 'Is she a tomboy or does she just like girls?'"

My father: "Oh, that's cool. *pauses* Hey, do you wanna see Black Swan now? I was questioning whether I wanted to let you see it because of the sex scene, but I'm guessing you know all about that stuff, don't you? *winks*"

^ These people are my life.

 

I went to lunch with a friend who was swinging through town with his girlfriend. (Nice that my town is between his hometown and his University.) While we were looking at the menu, his girlfriend giggled at a menu item that included large sausages. My friend made a suggestive comment about how she would be the only one at the table who would enjoy sausage.

Then he glanced at me. "Wait, dammit! Nevermind, I always forget about you." His girlfriend looked confused for a moment as I'm sitting there smirking and my friend is trying hard to study the menu. After a few seconds she says, "Ooooooh." And then she's back to looking at the menu.

 

This just happened over the weekend.
Me: I'm gay.
Male friend: Woah! Awesome. So have you ever been attracted to me? I've always wanted a gay guy to like me, it would be cool.

 

Hahaha amazing!

 

Me: I think I'm bi.
Girl who is also bi: Wait, do you mean bisexual?
Me: *sarcasm* No, I mean bipolar.

 

Me: I'm bi
Friend: And you like fish sticks. What else is new?

 

My mother, before I left to go to my boyfriend's house.

Me: Mum .. before I go, I have something to tell you.
Mum: Oh Hollie. Oh God. I thought you were a sensible girl!
Me: ...wait, what?
Mum: And you've decided to tell me as you're leaving! You're not
going anywhere, we need to discuss this.
Me: What has me being bisexual got anything to do with not being sensible?!
Mum: Bisexual?! I thought you were pregnant! Oh thank goodness!

 

Not so much as funny but more awkward, but awkward situations are hilarious to me.

I've made a point to be honest with anyone I work with, so working in a department at our hotel thats is all male theres a lot of girl ogling going on, secret codes over the radio and everything. I'm one of the three leaders of the department, during my first month I trained in all of the positions so I could supervise properly.

*J, Z and me standing around*

Me: I'm exceptionaly awesome at lying!
J: Okay, lie to me.
Me: *something pretty obviously not a lie*
J: Yeah, your terrible at that. Hey, I heard this awesome joke the other day *at this point he told some random gay joke, nothing offensive in the least really*
Me *random chuckle*
J: Wait, nobodies gay right?
Me: I'm gay
*At this point I was paged for something else so i walked away before anyone had anything to say, for the rest of the night J was pretty quiet didn't say all that much to me*

The next day J went to one of the other supervisors asking if he should go to HR about what he said in case I went to HR and reported him, I had a couple of days off when I came back he gave the most sincere apology to me I've ever heard. Meanwhile I have completely forgot about what he said and had no idea what was going on.

Another guy I worked with, despite me telling him I was gay, talking about my exboyfriend several times with him, it took me giving instructions on how to give good oral sex to one of my coworkers girlfriends for him to put it together.

The next day
B: I had no idea you were gay!
Me: Really, i thought all the talk about my exboyfriend was a dead giveaway.

 

This didn't involve me, but it's pretty funny so I thought I'd post it anyway.
So a friend, I'll call him S, recently came out as bi, and on the bus I told him: "You know you said you were [Kinsey] 3 last week, well your About section on FB suggests more of a 6." Turned out his brother had hacked his account some months ago, and we all agreed that the irony was brilliant - almost right, but not quite.

 

I came out to another friend a few days ago that I hung out with for the first time in almost a year. I was driving my friends home from a night at my place that involved a lot of pizza and video games. There was G and J who knew already and then C, my friend who didn't.

So all night G was being his usual self and making gay jokes involving me. I don't mind cause that's how he is and honestly some of them can be funny but he knows what not to say. On the ride home they were all mocking my crappy car that actually had a windshield whipper stop working during the trip while it was snowing out. My iPod then decided to play Crashed by Daughtry. C then starts making jokes about how we are gonna crash and die and this song shouldn't be played in my car, blah blah blah...

So G then makes another gay joke (i forget what it was) and C sarcastically asks me if I'm gay. I immediately and calmly tell him "Yes" and he immediatly reasks the question. I tell him yes and so begins about 2 minutes of "Really? "yes" back and forth with my friends in the backseat trying to convince him I was.

He then switches to "How long have you known?" and "Why didn't I see this?", I wondered that too considering he is the one that found a certain website in my browsing history before I learned to delete it on web close, and then they go to making jokes again and him in slight disbelief.

This lasted the whole ride down the road I was driving on. Then all of a sudden G said one of the funniest things I ever heard involving my sexual orientation. Approaching the end of the street he said "He's now more flaming than his house!" (My house caught fire last March 1st). EVERYBODY started laughing and couldn't stop. I started tearing up from how much I was laughing and so I almost pulled over cause I couldn't really see the cars in front of me stopped at the intersection.

I eventually recovered and got C home. Before he left he said he didn't judge people and asked me one more time if I was. J says to check my facebook. So C gets outta the car, G calls shotgun but since my driver side backdoor is really just a door bolted on it doesn't open. J gets out to move to the front and G hops over the seats and steals the front.

I love my friends !

 

I continually have to tell people I'm gay, they just don't expect it from me!

Though the funniest time I had coming out was when I was watching Queer as Folk, and a visitor to one of my housemates at the time was there and watched it for a few minutes (not knowing what it was) and as they got up to leave the room one of the (inevitable) sex scenes came on screen, and they did a shocked double-take and almost fell over on the lino.

Some of the more interesting coming outs I've had were in my Small hometown where my Dad still lives, I was up there in the summer of 2008 (this is Australian summer so late 2008/early 2009) and I was sitting in a group of guys, and one of them asked me if I was gay, I said 'yep' and the guy that was sitting next to me jumped up and tripped trying to get away (ok that was kinda homophobic, but still funny) and as soon as I explained that I wasn't going to hit on him he stopped being stupid lol.

So they're my experiences

 

Having told my friend, through tears last night, she said: "Well, I can't say it comes as surprise. Oh! I can talk to you about guys now!!"

 

When I (with mum) told my step-dad he just shrugged and said: "...that goes some way to explaining why you watch One Tree Hill"

 

But OTH is amazing??!!

 

I know. He just doesn't see it

 

I said to my one time best friend, "I'm bisexual, Merry Christmas." She looked at me and said, "Well, it's a little late for Christmas, how about Happy Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day?" Bahaha.

I came out in a speech in my English class and when I said, "I'm bisexual," the room got so quiet you could've heard a pin drop. Then when my speech was over I got mobbed by about 75% of the girls in my class. Later, walking to history this girl yelled out, "I love you Sarah!!!!!!"

 

Great thread, Just read all 258 posts...
Still haven't started my book report.
Thanks Guys...

 

This isn't a funny story, nor did it happen to me, but it's so touching I thought I'd share it.

At my Uni they had Ian McKellen at a big speaker event, talking about his life and his coming out etc. At the end of the even, they asked did anyone have any questions, and this guy got up, and in tears, told everyone in the hall that he was gay and had never told any of his friends or family. Ian went down and hugged while the entire hall stood up to clap and applaud the guy. It actually touched me so much it prompted me to recently come out to a few friends.