LGBT News FtM upset at not being allowed a women's only lesbian valentines event

Um, don't FtMs typically want to be treated like guys?

 

*blinkblink*

No, sorry, just no. You made the transition so that the world will see you as male, you would doubtless be hugely offended should anyone refer to you in feminine terms, you don't get to intrude on a women-only event with the "But I have 2 X chromosomes" card. If you miss your friends you know from the group, invite them to your house, but no, sorry, you don't get to make a whole room full of people (most of whom likely do not know you and won't understand) uncomfortable because you want to have it both ways.

I read the letter he wrote to the organizer... And I have absolutely no problem using the male pronoun there because the way it reads? Very very male, sounds exactly like my passive-aggressive, controlling, abusive father. I could almost hear it in his voice.

 

I.. okay, on one hand, I get where they're coming from. This is a place they've been, felt familiar with, welcomed at, before. And they enjoyed going. They miss it.

ON the other hand... Dude, you're a dude. No Boys Allowed. It sucks that you feel dumped by your community, but it's a women-only dance, and you aren't one. So sorry, but not sorry. You don't get to pick and choose here.

 

The hell was he thinking?
He's a guy trying to get into a women's only event. What did he expect?
That they'd give him a special exception because he's trans?
Three words.


...Or is that four words?

 

Part of respecting gender identity is taking people seriously when they identify as male. So, you should not expect to be in women's-only spaces.

My hope, though, is that men everywhere can be the allies they need to be and change the culture of fear and alienation that cause women to create segregated spaces in the first place.

Separatism comes from the historical pain of male oppression, and it would do our brothers well to understand why and be a positive change in that way...

 

You're a man now. You gotta accept that you won't be allowed at women only events .
however i think i understand where they're coming from? A lesbian is more likely to date a trans person than a straight person would right? I think that's kind of what their thinking/motive might have been? (I didn't read the article :C)

 

But HE is a man...

 

Gotta second what everyone says. He's a guy. I get that it hurts to be rejected, but a part of passing with the gender identity you want is to expect everything that comes with it. Including not being allowed in women's only groups.

If this was a MTF getting rejected then that would be upsetting, but he should have known this would happen.

 

If I were in his shoes, I'd take this like a compliment.

Hey, they treated you like a boy! That you feel inside! Why do you feel upset for this?

 

So living as a man but is not allowed to a female only event?

Denied.

Move on.

 

I don't see why he's so upset about this. Isn't being treated as the gender you identify with usually a GOAL for most people?

 

he shouldnt be mad. HE is a man and is being treated as such. last time I checked lesbian means females who like females not males who like females

 

Yeah, he really should not be upset over this...

 

Another way to look at it is: should we really have monogender events? Aren't they sexist?

 

This pretty much sums it up.

 

I think the issue is that certain events would dump MtFs like this, in the same breath.

 

Oh no...people are treating you as the gender you are suppose to be.

:eusa_booh

seriously what's the issue?

 

It would be an issue if they did and the issue is the fact he and his SO are mad because he was told not to come because he is a guy

 

That's not the issue here though. You can't assume they would do the same to MtF people.

In fact, the fact they consider him male should tell you they wouldn't do the same to someone who was MtF.

The fact of the matter is, he is male, and he's trying to attend a female-only event.

 

Yes, and I seriously can't understand why so many transguys get pissed at not being included in women's only things.

I'm not a woman! I don't want to considered one. The whole point of transitioning is so I can be considered a man.

I was reading a memoir where the author knew a transman who wanted to be 'politically female' because 'men take too much space'. And seriously, it's a view I've seen in the community. You don't have to be one gender to support another gender. When you say you're still a woman because you have a vagina, you reinforce that your identity doesn't matter, that your parts determine your gender.