im 19, female and have a bf. ever since I was 12 I’ve questioned my sexuality . I’ve had so many crushes on girls as well as guys. I had a secret gf at age 15. I really liked her & she was lovely but I was too scared to make out with her cos I knew if I did then I’d know for definite I wasn’t straight. I go through phases where I want to be with a girl & right now there’s a girl I used to have a MASSIVE crush on & I can’t stop thinking and wishing I was with her. I think I’m bi & I feel frustrated.
While no one but you can be sure of what your sexuality is, from what you've written you sound bi to me. If you've had crushes on both girls and guys over the years, that's a pretty good indication that you are bi. Also you've almost perfictly discribed the fluxuations in attraction that many (if not all) bi people experince over time, another good indicator that your bi. Again, only you can be sure, only you can feel your feelings so only you can know for sure, but you deffinately sound bi to me. That being said, why are you frustrated? Are you mad that you are bi? If That is the case then you shouldn't be. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual. It's just as normal as being gay or straight. It doesn't mean you're broken, dusfunctional, or flawed. It just means you have the ability to feel attraction toward more then one sex. If you are bisexual, and you definately sound bi to me, it is far better to accept it and try to learn to like it, or at least live with it, then deny it. It is a part of you, it's not going to change. It is far better to accept it then repress it, because that will never work in the long run. Or, on the other hand, did you mean you are frustrated because of your fluxuating attractions? If that is the case I'm sorry, the best I can do is say I feel your pain. It can be really annoying, believe me I know. One day it's all dudes, dudes, dudes. The next day all you can think about is how pretty every random woman on the street is. It can be annoying, especially when you are trying to figure out who you are most attracted to, and it keeps changing. I've been going through that recently. For the last few months I've been more focused on men. Then, over the last week or so, bam, I've suddenly swung back to women. The timing is great too, just as I'm starting to make headway with the guy I've been crushing on since August, my mind decides it would be a good time to start noticing women again. Sorry if this isn't very helpful, but I don't really have any advice on this. Maybe someone who is more experinced can help more (I've only accepted my sexuality in the last six months or so). I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. Most Bi people go through this, it's pretty normal for us, even if it is a huge pain in the ass. Away, I hope this helps. Like I said, no one can tell you you are or aren't bi, but you do sound like you probably are to me. If you frustrated because of that, try to accept it as best you can. If, on the other hand, it's the fluctuations that are getting to you, them I feel your pain. It's annoying, but at least you aren't alone. Good luck which ever it is. Hopefully things will get easier with time.
Thank you! I was posting to get my feelings off my chest. I feel frustrated because of both reasons really. For the past few years I’ve ignored my feelings for females as I’ve been wrapped up in my straight relationship but over the past few days my feelings for females have came back & I wish I could just kiss a female etc. And it’s frustrating. I also don’t know how to accept myself for who I am. I’ve been confused for the last 7 years and my family all know I’ve liked females before but they brush it off as if it’s just me going through a phase. They’ve also made very hurtful comments in the past about it and feel they can do that because I’m straight (according to them). I wish I could just go to another town where no one knows me to fulfil my sexual desires currently with a female but I can’t do that. There’s this one girl who I used to really really really like, and I cannot stop looking at her pictures and wishing I was kissing her. My bf jokes that I’m a lesbian because my old best friend told him I used to like her, but I don’t know if he’s testing the water with me or if he’s just joking. Ahhh I wish life wasn’t so frustrating and I could kiss her and love her and hold her hand and look into her beautiful eyes!!!! (P.s I wouldn’t ever cheat on my bf, I love him a lot and I just want to let my feelings out on here. I wouldn’t ever act on my sexual or frustrated feelings towards females whilst I’m with him).
Alsoooooo, my ‘type’ that I always find so so so attractive is the butch type, for example Erika Linder... OMGGG the things I would do to her!!!!! Any female that has masculine qualities is so attractive to me. I see them in the exact same way I see males. A few years ago I had my first crush on this girl on tv called Kacey Barry on Waterloo Road (goddddddd she was so hot), and my sisters both knew that I liked her. Me and my friend last week we’re talking about the girl I used to like on TV and I was saying how I really liked her and when she put on a video of her I started to smirk and my sister said ‘you used to like her didn’t you?’ So I said ‘yeah because I thought she looked like a boy’ and she said ‘So you’re gay?’ And I was like, ‘no...’ but she gave me a freaked out look when I said she was good looking.
